Category: reflections

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · motherhood · reflections

A Day Worth Remembering

Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

It’s warm here in our little house tonight.  A/C went out completely this afternoon after struggling along for a few hours and giving me hope that it might just have been the filter.  Today we had Joshua’s truck engine repaired, and this weekend I had a meltdown about trying to make the grocery budget fit our reality.

It’s life, really.  Messy and complicated and full of mistakes that are only glaringly obvious when looking backward.  But it’s ours.  And sometimes it’s worth bottling up right now and keeping it just like it is.

I’d love to store all these precious little moments somewhere….the way they ate the strawberries as fast as I could cut them this afternoon on the back porch while they were dripping wet from the inflatable pool….when I asked Amelia what she did at VBS today and she said, “Well, we did NOT ride in the bye-bye buggy, but we did dancing with Mrs. Katie”…oh, baby girl, you and your friends are finally getting too big for that buggy and it makes me so sad….how Gus barked “arf, arf!” at the office dog today when we went to pick up Joshua…that Madelynne finally finished a chapter book she read all on her own….how Annabelle has taken to doubling everyone’s names, “Mil-Mil, Ma-Ma, Gus-Gus”….

It’s just random moments.  Everyday mundane, extraordinary only because these moments are so very ordinary.  I remember once telling my husband early in our marriage that I could live everyday reliving our perfect wedding day, and he told me he’d rather live over an ordinary day, a day when we actually were just together.

The older I get, the more I think about that.  How if I had to live just one day over, I’d choose the most ordinary of days, a day when we were just at home, just weeding the garden or playing in the water hose or drinking coffee at that beat-up kitchen table.  A day when naps were taken and pizza was made and the floor was swept a half-dozen times.  A day when I probably got a little exasperated, but got over it quickly enough to enjoy the silliness.  One of those days when there’s an afternoon rainstorm and a family movie and a whole lot of laundry that needs to be folded.

One of those days that’s just pulsing with everyday, ordinary life.  That’s the day I’d bottle right now and keep in my treasure chest of memories because these are the days that matter most.

Those are the days that remind me how passionately I am loved.

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · reflections · summer

The Balloon Ride

Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

My youngest daughter perched herself on the edge of a rock bridge in an old field and dared me with her eyes to say no.  A trickle of a creek, muddy yet sparkling, ran under that tiny bridge and further down other children waded and ran shrieking up the bank.

The evening was summer dusk, warm and humid, but soft and inviting all the same.  Across the field, as if someone had sent a sudden signal, vehicles began to appear with bulk hidden under tarps and strapped to trailers.  Moments later, bright yards of fabric began to unfurl and billow in the slight breeze.  The people pressed closer to watch the spectacle unfurl.

And on a warm summer evening, they used fire to float those balloons.

What was once flat and wrapped tight swelled and soared and colored the sky all around.

She begged for a ride, and when we climbed into that basket and lifted high, all I could think was how it’s the fire that’s made us fly.

Photos · reflections

On Self-Confidence (and my lack thereof)

Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment
So here’s a little secret people are always surprised to learn about me: there are times when my self-confidence is way in the red.  

I think I must fake it well to people who work with me at school or church or in volunteer activities.  And I’m a theatre girl, so folks are also quick to assume that means loads of confidence because the stage doesn’t scare me.

Wrong.  Truthfully, deep down, I love that stage because on it I’m someone besides myself.  And of course I look confident in a classroom; it’s just a smaller stage and I’m not intimidated by twelve year olds.  Usually.

But in real life?  Not a lot of confidence.  Not in myself as a mother, as a writer, as a friend….

It’s become a daily prayer and a daily habit to revoke these feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness because my God has called me to be confident in Him and He has given me gifts and talents that require a belief in myself before they can be used for His glory and His purpose.

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So, I’m stepping out in confidence that this is what I’m supposed to do, and although it terrifies me a bit to attach the title “writer” to my name, to change this domain URL to fit a new purpose, to see my byline in print in the local newspaper, and to have a photograph made of just me, I’m doing it.

I put on makeup today.  I fixed my hair.  I chose my shirt thoughtfully and then I strove diligently to keep it snot free.

And I had a headshot done.

It’s amazing how good a bit of mascara, a new sweater, and a talented photographer can make me feel.  I look at this photograph and I see the person I want to be: joyful, talented, confident.

I’m praying I don’t forget.

gus · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · monday · reflections

Monday Catch-Up

Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment
Joshua finally found a use for all the baby food jars.  Seed starters.  Squash and zucchini and cucumbers.  Except he forgot to label the jars and can’t remember which is which.  
Oh, well.  The girls and I planted these this weekend.  In the rain. He tried to recover from the stomach bug (yeah, that’s still lingering around) and went to a community theater board retreat.
I went to the grocery store with all four (again, in the rain) because I’m evidently an eternal optimist who really believes each time will be better than the last.  Four doughnuts, $75, and one inappropriate response to the lady who thought I was pregnant later, I decided to stop letting my menu plan control my life.
Speaking of menu planning, I’m trying to get an even tighter grasp on our even tighter grocery budget by planning for two weeks worth of meals at a time.  Any tips?  I’ve found endless planners on Pinterest, but I have yet to really be able to make this work for me.  Primarily because I actually like to grocery shop, hence the eternal optimism.  
But I like to cook and I like to plan and so menus work well for us.  I also like to coupon and watch sales cycles and I’m coming around to price matching, and since the grocery store is the ONLY retail therapy I get these days, I’m try to work it to my advantage.
I found this today the moment I clicked into Pinterest for the first time in a couple weeks.  I love it when everything I’m looking for is in one place.

The planning served us well last week when we were busy helping with the annual spring musical at my old school.  For me, right now, the best part of theater is that it’s a family affair.  I helped direct, Joshua set up lights, and the big girls danced in the show.  
It was also Gus’s first birthday last week.  Unfortunately for him, we spent it in dress rehearsal.  But that was probably best.  It’s been a difficult milestone for me to wrap my mind around. 

He’s happy.  He’s beautiful.  He’s a precious gift, a  realization that is all the more foremost in my mind as of late.
Many of us are sharing heavy hearts right now, and right now, I am only finding comfort in the precious words of the Lord.  I will never understand His ways, but I will choose to trust His hand.

1000 gifts · amelia · gus · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne · motherhood · reflections

On Providence and Perspective

Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment


Sometimes all we need to get a fresh start is a moment to really look.  A moment to watch as babies and lettuce and flowers grow right before our eyes.  A moment to remember that providence is in the eye of my perspective.

I’ve been hanging on to the now a bit lately.  Not unlike the way Madelynne hangs upside down on our swing set that will soon be finding a new home because they’re too big, it’s too small, and some dear friends are gifting us with theirs when they move. 
That move is going to be hard for all of us.  It’s in the back of my mind and heart and I don’t want to see the providence in such a moment, even if I know it’s there, somewhere.
So I’ve been soaking in these moments of goodness and grace and watching and waiting.  I’ve been reveling in the now of sticky popsicle faces and bursting seeds.  I’ve been resting in the thoughts that only a short time ago I wanted nothing more than to be rid of this home and onto bigger and better things, but now?  Now I’d love to just stop time and stay here and keep them little and have friends up the hill and a garden that’s growing promises and a perspective that sees the blessings.