I spend way too much time thinking about all the things I should have (or should be) doing.
Like this morning.
I should be rushing around to get out the door to church on time, not trying to relieve some of my anxiety by blogging.
I should have made the girls get a bath last night when we got home at 9 even though I was tired and just wanted to nurse Amelia and get to bed.
And I should not have melted down yesterday about the mess the girls made (and Joshua left me in charge of cleaning up). Instead I could have modeled calm behavior under pressure. Even if that pressure was the fact that it was 1:27 and I was supposed to be able to feed all three of them and myself, get dressed for a wedding, clean up the mess in the carport, curl my hair, pack up the girls and get them to Mimi’s, and then show up at the church by 2 for a weddding.
The truth is there’s a lot not happening these days that should happen. We should be reading more story books. We should be playing outside in the beautiful autumn splendor. We should be putting the finishing touches on Halloween costumes and hiding the Kit-Kats from Daddy.
Yeah, I spend way too much time on the shoulds. No matter that this week alone I had a kid read a book (and like it) for the first time this year. I had a productive parent meeting and definitely went above the job description I was handed in EDU 101. I spent about ten hours helping direct a wedding rehearsal and the wedding itself and consoling a harried bride. I braided Annabelle’s hair like Laura Ingalls and cuddled Amelia until she fell asleep. I made $80 dollars selling random items on Classifieds at school and have managed to get all those delivered to their buyers. I took a few minutes this week to catch up with friends and enjoy a glass of wine. And I think I just put the last load of laundry I’m doing this weekend in the dryer.
Finding the balance between home and work and kids and chores and worship and church is tough. And focusing on what my should haves is enlightening when it helps me realize what should be getting the best of me.
So this afternoon even though I should fold all the laundry and mop the floor and clean the bathroom, I think I’ll take a nap and put the finishing touches on Halloween costumes and finish the next chapter of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever with Madelynne so she’s ready for her next rehearsal.
And everything else can just wait ’til next time.