Category: faith
(Im)Perfectly Patient
I’m not a very patient person.
I can’t sit through commercials and will walk the grocery store until a register is free.
I sometimes get bored halfway through a book and read the ending. Alright, that’s not true. Usually I’m so into the story I can’t wait for the end. I have to know now.
I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in one day because I refused to allow myself to be so impatient. So I just didn’t put it down until I was finished. Somehow I don’t think that was better because I had to go back and reread so I could appreciate the details.
I don’t usually appreciate the details like I should.
And lately I’ve been really impatient with my Lord. It doesn’t make for a happy home.
But I want to know now and how and when and where. I want a blueprint of my life, or at the very least the next few months, and I want to be able to see how we’re going to get through this valley to the other side.
Faith doesn’t work like that. It’s trusting in the unknown.
I’m not so good with the unknown.
So everyday, and many times a day, I’m having to remind myself that Paul wrote a long time ago about how to combat these “fits of rage” that come with my fear of the unknown.
But the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, gentleness, and self-control…..I used to think it was the self-control that would help me cultivate patience, but guess which comes first?
And then we read in our Advent devotion on Monday how God always provides. Always there’s a ram in the thicket if we’re patient enough to trust in Him.
But sometimes he brings us to the very edge of that dark place before we see the light.
Family Rules
I REALLY want one of these signs. I already know where I’ll hang it. I love what this one says, but Joshua says we need to add “no whining.” The lovely Tara over at Between You&Me made this one for her home and is hosting a fun giveaway. Head over to enter to win your own or just to tell her how much I would really love to have this hanging in our cozy little home that I’m learning to re-love and re-appreciate more everyday.
And leave me a comment telling me what you think your best family rule is. My new favorite is Thank the Lord. All the time. For everything.
The Manna
I’ve long had trust issues. I think actually it’s that I have self-confidence issues that manifest as being unable to believe that I am worthy of anything.
Friendships.
Blessings.
Love.
I’ve talked a lot recently about living on faith, about believing that the Lord will provide for our family, about trusting His Hand in this little world of big change. But do I believe it? When it counts do I really?
I cried the other night after Joshua made an innocent comment that I blew out of proportion and it all related back to me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough to keep our budget sound. Our checkbook red. Our kids fed.
I had no trust, not really. I don’t think I truly believed He would come through when we needed it. Even though He always has. Even though He always will. I went ahead and prepared myself for the worst thinking, “Well, at least we know. At least we’ll be ready.” But can one ever truly be ready for the unknown?
And today when Joshua called to say he’d had an offer, that it was what he’d prayed and hoped and waited for, I realized how little faith I’d had. Here I was prepared for the worst, never trusting for the best. And that’s not faith. That’s cowardice. That’s untrust. That’s unfaithful.
That’s the opposite of the person I want to be, am striving to become, am praying to be revealed.
Trust. So hard to eat the manna everyday and believe in its worth. But always, always it is.












