I’ll be 32 next Tuesday. As a gift to me, the school system is planning to be closed for an emergency day unless we get a winter storm in the next six days. Come on snow….
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Today I am cracking back open my gratitude journal and writing again. That list that never ends that circles in my head and through my heart but I buried my journal under school papers and doctor appointment cards and recipes in a tiny space on my counter and finally, today, I found it again.
It has taken me so many weeks to feel grateful again. To feel happy. To feel like I don’t have to justify why things happen that we can’t understand, but I am allowed to find happiness. In all the little things. And mostly in all the big.
Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~Victor Hugo
1. This weekend the weather was perfect. Crisp, cool fall weather. Like it had been ordered up out of a catalog or something. Seriously. It was perfect. I opened all the windows and cleaned the house. Which really needed it since I’ve been hibernating on the sofa for a month and the dust bunnies are threatening to eat my family. Or at least their socks. I even cleaned the van. Amelia was a big help. She ate all the lost raisins and cheerios we found.
2. I tend to find this face irresistable. I think she’s pretending to be me because of the sunglasses, but maybe she’s just practicing for when she’s a big sister. Probably not. She has no idea that she’s going to have to share mommy and since she doesn’t like to share me with the sisters she already has who were around first, I’m not feeling confident she’s going to take kindly to a new baby sitting in mommy’s lap.
3. I bought mums a week or two ago and intended to plant them in my pathetic dead planter on the porch. That finally happened this weekend. Joshua and Annabelle did it while I napped on the couch.
4. Speaking of working in the yard, Joshua did that on Sunday because on Saturday I made him take me to see Courageous and have dinner. We were childless and I didn’t think yardwork qualified for a childless day. So, on Sunday he and the girls are outside working in what will be their “wild garden” come spring. It’s a concoction of flowers and vegetables and whatever else the girls pick out at Lowe’s. As mentioned before, I was napping. Until Madelynne burst in the house and announced, “I quit helping Daddy in the yard. All he wants to do is kill the grass. I enjoy nature. I don’t want to kill it!” Obviously she hasn’t figured out where her chicken nuggets come from yet.
5. And speaking of our date night, the movie was really good. But sad. I cried. A lot. There’s your warning. Then we went to Longhorn for the special and because I had a coupon. I don’t think we’ve eaten at Longhorn at least four months. Our “eat out” budget is limited to more frugal places these days. But we splurged a bit and I ate way too much. I keep forgetting that pregnancy encourages frequent small meals. Not frequent big ones.
6. We have a scarecrow in our yard this year. I don’t think our scarecrow wants to be on display, though. I keep finding him sprawled across the driveway. Or leaning like this.
7. Finally, I’m feeling better, which means that I’m cooking again. A fact my husband is profoundly grateful for. I made potato soup on Sunday and garnished it with all sorts of goodies like bacon (which I never buy or fry but broke down for this week) and green peppers that are still growing on our plant in the backyard. It was delish.
That hint, hint is intended for my husband when I make him read this later