I would love to tell you that I’m putting lots of thought and prayer and consideration into each of these posts. I would love to tell you that I hope my words touch you in some way, help you through a bad day, or make you hug your kids a little tighter before you spank them for getting out of bed for the umpteenth time.
Truth is, I do hope those things, but I’m not in a place where everything I write here is going to be poetic and inspiring. And my guess? You’re glad it’s not.
My reality today is exhaustion. I’m tired. The baby still isn’t sleeping. He’s either coughing or crying or gurgling all night long. When he is sleeping, Amelia isn’t.
So I’m tired and I have no words of inspiration, except the simple promise a woman who’s on the other side of motherhood tells me frequently,
This too shall pass.
You know how you’ll have a really good day as a mom or homemaker or employee or all of the above and you’ll get so much done (like canning 8 jars of apple butter and folding three loads of laundry) and feel really good about your accomplishments and you’ll put your kids to bed with a kiss and lie down and thank God for His grace that got you through the day and then–
then the next day happens.
Today was my next day.
Tonight I really needed grace. Tonight I violated the “no-yelling” day we were having. I got impatient. I got grouchy. I got overwhelmed.
But you know what?
Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.
At least not yet.
That’s the thing about motherhood–I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to mess up. I’m not always going to get it right and I’m not always going to have the patience of Job.
okay, I’m never going to have the patience of Job.
But I’m going to get up tomorrow and do it again and try again and love again and be grateful (and frustrated) again…
because that’s what motherhood is. It’s a fumble through the dark to rock a crying baby, stub your toe on a toy, acceptance of messy bathrooms and sticky counters, begging prayer for sleep, endurance love.
Please, Lord, give me rest for tonight and more grace for tomorrow.
For all the 31 Days posts on embracing these choppy waters of motherhood, click here.
motherhood moments I embraced this weekend….and moments when Jesus embraced me and met our momentary needs….
knowing the ER doc at one in the morning on a friday night
impromptu alone time (well, just one baby) with my husband all weekend
when my mama buys my daughter shoes i really can’t afford right now
and calls it early christmas
three half-pecks of apples waiting for apple butter, apple pie, apple cake and girls’ lunches
who knew they could go so far?
all the ingredients for dinner in the freezer or the pantry
when the baby finally takes a nap that lasts longer than 45 minutes
homemade buttermilk biscuits and pear preserves
but it worked.
accidents in amelia’s panties…but at least she’s wearing panties
maybe someday i will be as cool as my mama and take my grandchildren
backpacking on the AT
so many g-diapers and i didn’t spend a dime (thanks Amy!)
the guilty feeling when i realize that i have elderly relatives right here who need me
and children who love to visit their greats so we will go more often
Leave a comment and tell me some moments you’ve embraced lately; let me know my words aren’t just going into the abyss 🙂
Six years ago in the wake of the worst tragedy my family had ever experienced, my then-baby crawled for the very first time.
I was surrounded by chaos, by heartbreak, by faith.
Faith is her middle name.
And she pushed up on her knees and rocked back and forth and I can still see the pink and white romper she was wearing as she inched across my grandmother’s immaculate carpet now marked with the tracks of ministers and cousins and neighbors.
It’s a memory that’s etched into my heart and always in the back of my mind when I look at her now all skinny knees and elbows and mischievous grin. I can’t help but wonder if I would remember this milestone if it wasn’t framed in grief.
Why do I sometimes let the smallest, sweetest moments get lost in the worry and the pain and the fear?
The world as I knew it had just ended, but she crawled across it anyway.
For all my posts in this 31 Days Embracing Motherhood series click here. There will be no post for yesterday since I spent it with my family in quiet remembrance of the life of one we loved.