I had to send my the women who are in the trenches of leadership with me an urgent text message yesterday. Basically it said I’d offered to make dinner for one of our own who birthed her third babe last week (and now deserves all things pasta and chocolate) but I’d over-anticipated  my capacity for this Tuesday. so, in short, I needed help.

Of course they rose to the occasion and all I had to prepare was the main dish (never going wrong with baked spaghetti). It was an awesomely freeing feeling to ask for help and to receive it.

But sometimes I’m quite guilty of not asking. Sometimes I apparently would rather flake out or have a tantrum or just yell at my husband rather than ask for just a little bit of help. Or guidance. Or relief.

Sarah Mae, who wrote Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, the book I’m reading with that leadership team that welcomes tired mamas every other Friday to MOPS, says very plainly, “What a young mother really needs is physical help.”

Exactly. Sometimes what I really need is four sets of hands, you know, one for each child? And it’s okay if those hands are attached to my mom or mother-in-law or friend or mentor. Especially when those hands are being held wide open and desiring to share some wisdom while folding the never ending pile of laundry that keeps my girls’ room disguised rampaged outlet store.

I know, I know. It’s hard to ask. I’ve got four kids and am just now getting to where I realize how vitally important it is to lay down my own feelings of inadequacy and that idol of control so someone can be the hands and feet of sweet Jesus for me.

It’s okay if you have a hard time with the asking. But can I encourage you to accept the offers? And can I encourage you that if you don’t want physical help, to at least seek some guidance from those who have gone before?

You don’t even have to talk to someone to find guidance in areas like marriage, kids’ activities, meal planning, and devotions. The internet is an unlimited resource that easily overwhelms and intimidates. That’s why I’m excited to share a little (actually it’s a lot!) something with you.

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is on sale today and for the next 6 days only, you can get over 78 ebooks and additional resources for one low price. All downloadable onto your favorite electronic device, all from trusted and respected leaders in the homemaking blog world, and all neatly packaged together so you can peruse at your leisure without having to rely on endless (and distracting) Pinterest searches to find a simple idea for dinner!

It’s the best bargain for ebooks you’ll ever find.  When I’m thinking about meal planning and whole foods, I can’t wait to check out:

• Happy Mom, Healthy Family Meal Planning by Lisa Byrne
• It’s Me or the Coupons by Beth Cranford
• Healthy Lunchbox by Katie Kimball
• Real Food on a Budget by Stephanie Langford
• Advanced Penny Pinching by Tabitha Philen

So go ahead, treat yourself or a friend to an early Mother’s Day and start accepting help. Because if we could do it all by ourselves, there would be no reason to have each other, right?

Oh, and MOPS mamas who’ve been loving Desperate? Sarah Mae has three books included in this bundle!

It’s no secret that we try to live pretty frugally around here.  I’d love to tell you we do it so we can be building retirement portfolios or sponsoring a half-dozen Compassion children or living debt free.

But the truth is, we live frugally because that’s the only way we can pay all our bills, put food on the table, and save an emergency fund that gets drained at least once a year by non-emergencies like new tires, medical bills, or our anniversary getaway.

Slowly but surely we’re chipping away at debt, and with a slightly bigger house on our future radar, we’re trying to live simply but still enjoy God’s blessings and the opportunity to love on other people. Usually, I use this blog as a writing outlet for my musings on motherhood and the antics of my crazy children but this has become such a big part of my journey in staying home, that I want to share it with you!

That and writing about doing something makes me feel really accountable to actually doing it. So for the next few weeks, I’m going to have a weekly series about how we’re trying to live a healthy, balanced, whole(ish) foods diet on a grocery budget that’s just under $300 a month.

That number comes from us following the Crown Financial plan for financial freedom,  Your Money Map: A Proven 7-Step Guide to True Financial Freedom, (it’s almost exactly the same as Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness) and because we have figured out how to get what we need at that price point. Sometimes we go over. Rarely are we under. But for the most part, $300 a month feeds us pretty comfortably.  Of course you have to keep in mind that two of my children are still pretty little and unless they’re in a growth spurt aren’t eating the same as a teenager or an adult.

One way I’ve found that really works for me is to focus on local foods and stores. I know a lot of people coupon or price match, and if that works for you, great. But I’ve come off that bandwagon for the most part and have had greater success with my own version of a whole foods approach.  For me, what that means, is if I can make it from scratch, then I do that instead. My kitchen cabinets stay stocked with baking ingredients, rolled oats, dried fruit, and nuts. I buy more eggs but less meat, make breakfast almost every morning, and sometimes pack my kids leftovers for lunch. I’ve discovered a plethera of uses for lentils and Greek yogurt (though not together). I am a master at sneaking vegetables into meals and I ration cheese. But mostly, I seek out what’s local and in season, because that’s where I’m getting the best bang for my buck.

As spring settles in, I’m gearing up for a new season with our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and since I agreed to handle marketing for them, you’re also going to be treated to lots of information on what we’re learning and eating by having a share of a local farm delivered to our doorstep once a week. I’m planning to begin hosting a Wednesday linkup for us to share our favorite recipes using locally grown ingredients (local to you, not just to me) so that all summer long we can experience the glory of each other’s summer bounty.

But before that happens, I’m going to offer you a seat at my kitchen table and share about the following topics:

April 9:: Tips for Buying Locally Sourced Produce, Meat, and Dairy
April 16:: Monthly Meal Planning (Week by Week)
April 23:: Ten Things I’m Making Instead of Buying
April 30:: What WIC Taught Me about Groceries 

I hope you’ll join me on this journey and offer your own tips and resources along the way!

By the way this awesome bundle deal of 78 ebooks and bonus offers is available RIGHT NOW for one super low price. I’m using lots of these resources to help me handle this budget!

You can subscribe to this blog by entering your email address in the box in the upper right hand corner.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links that help support my writing habit. 

She didn’t sleep all that long cold night.  I know because when I would roll over on the pullout couch and lean up on my elbow to listen to the shallow rise and fall that breath has when death has come upon it, she would be sitting in the armchair we had tucked her into amongst pillows and blankets and she would be staring.

I think she was trying to will it away.

After sixty-five years, I don’t imagine there’s a lot he wouldn’t do for her when asked.  There’s a lot he might have grumbled about in the most endearing way, saying, “Woman! I told you I would get to that.” But he always gave her what she wanted; he always gave her what she needed out of a deep abiding love.

But he couldn’t give her this.  He couldn’t fight past tumors and cancer eating away at a body that in the end had become a mere shell of the robust man he’d once been. The man who was tough enough for camping when it was below freezing in the north Georgia mountains but gentle enough for hand holding on any given day.

He fought well in death, but in the end, when she took his hand and sat by his bedside and stroked his hair, she told him he could stop without words and without despair.

She finally knew his fight on earth was done.

My grandfather, whose name is carried in my father and brother and son, left us for heaven this past Friday morning.  A friend texted me and told me I should write Five Minute Friday because the word was fight and it was so appropriate for our circumstances.  But I wasn’t ready for the words, though in the end, this morning, five minutes was the restriction I needed not to overthink his well-lived life. 

Linking up with Crystal for Behind the Scenes as well. Late on that one, too, but in this community grace abounds.  Join us to tell the story behind the photo? 

We went to the mall as a family on Saturday.  It was our first trip there in a very long time.  Long enough, in fact, for me to have forgotten that there is more to that place than the Food Court and the carousel.

We went because it was Madelynne’s 9th birthday and we had promised she could (finally!) get her ears pierced.  Since it’s been about twenty years since I had any piercing done, I went with the tried and true decision to take her to Claire’s.  That place is like a rite of passage for girls, right?

Except to get there you have to pass so many other rites of passages that nine years olds shouldn’t know about yet.

We parked away from the crowd and came in a less used side entrance due to the rain.  We walked past Pottery Barn and J. Crew and the rock climbing wall and a giant picture of a half-dressed girl and guy sharing an intimate embrace on the beach.

That was Hollister. I thought they sold clothes?  Silly me.

Steered them on toward the food court since Annabelle’s mouth was hanging open.  Obviously she was hungry.

After lunch, we went up the escalator (so much excitement! we obviously don’t get out enough) and trekked on down toward our destination.

Which was unfortunately located across the aisle from Victoria’s Secret. Well, at least there’s no mistaking what they’re selling.

This time I didn’t steer them on fast enough.  Madelynne had a friend with her and there was a whispered conversation that went like this:

M: What’s that place?
F: That’s where they sell pajamas that look like bras and underwear.
M: (staring at a sheer negligee with garters) Ewww!

I’m no idiot.  I know they probably already know more than I want them to and are exposed to more than I think they should be.  I’m sure the time for the talk is coming soon, and I know I should get on with that before some kid beats me to it, but I was naive enough to think that a simple trip to the mall wasn’t going to prompt that discussion.

I wish I could shield their eyes from seeing pornographic images in stores that don’t believe their product is good enough to sell itself.   I wish I could take them shopping without arguing over the fact that they’re too young for spiky heels.  How much I wish that argument hadn’t come into existence because someone, somewhere has forgotten that little girls should dress like little girls.

And young ladies should be treated with respect.  But how can we expect that when we tell them it’s cool to be wrapped around your boyfriend’s waist in a pair of $50 jeans?

Don’t tell me that I should go ahead and prepare myself for this because I have three daughters and they are going to grow up faster than I want them to.

That’s not the point.  The point is I should be able to treat my daughter like a nine year old and nine year olds shouldn’t be exposed to promiscuity on a Saturday afternoon at the mall.  I wasn’t looking for an intro lesson to sex education.

We just wanted a pair of earrings.

Don’t forget my giveaway for the book No Maybe Baby ends today! Enter here.

Linking up with The Better Mom Mondays.

//d12vno17mo87cx.cloudfront.net/embed/rafl/cptr.jsI am honored to be giving away a copy of her story to one of you lucky readers!  Maybe this isn’t a story for you, because for many of us, it’s not a struggle we have experienced.  But while statistics may show infertility rates are decreasing, my reality is that I can name more than one friend who has not been able to get pregnant, and I’ll bet you can too.  So enter for yourself or for a friend and leave me a comment telling me where you are in your motherhood journey.  It’s my hope and prayer that you’re learning to embrace your story.

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