On Being Intentional {My Search for Margin: Part 5}

For all my other posts in this possibly never-ending series on how I’m aiming for more white space and less smudges in my life, click here.

I have the best intentions.  I really do.  I love a list.  A plan.  A box that can be neatly checked off or better yet a strong black line through a finished task.

It’s just that I’m really so very bad at finishing.

I’m great at starting.  Enthusiasm, energy, get ‘er done and all that.  It’s why the start of a new school year was always my favorite time to be a teacher.  It’s new, exciting, so many possibilities.

Kind of like my head full of blog and novel and ebook ideas that aren’t going anywhere because I can get started, but I can’t seem to get finished.

I like to blame all this on lack of time.  Except I know incredibly successful bloggers and writers who also work full-time jobs or have more kids than I.

So then I like to blame my unfinished tasks on principles.  As in, I’m investing in my kids right now so I don’t really have time to invest in anything else.  

Yeah, that would work if I believed it.  Truth is, I am investing in my kids and in being there and available to them.  But I also quit a job that gave us another income and health insurance so that I could pursue the hearts of my children and the heart of my scariest God-sized dreams.

So, I’ve begun making one small change to how I approach my issue with time since that’s my go-to excuse.

It’s not about how much time I have; it’s about how I choose to spend it.

Time’s a currency.  I can choose to spend it wisely on something that will set me up and get me ahead and make me feel that I have accomplished more in my day than just sweeping the floor ten times before dinner. Or I can choose to spend it on something that will give me a few fleeting moments of pleasure but leave me frustrated and guilty in the end.

So for the past couple of weeks, when I sit down to write, I have begun treating it like work.  I make a list of what I need to accomplish and I finish it.  Or I at least try really hard and make myself be intentional about trying to finish.

A couple Saturdays ago, Joshua stayed home and supervised room cleaning and I went to the library and worked intently for two solid hours.  I actually set the alarm on my phone and allotted myself a set amount of time to finish my different tasks from compiling the posts I want to turn into an ebook on Embracing Motherhood to breaking down the play I’m directing this Christmas by scenes and characters.  I felt so much better when I left simply because I had paid attention and been intentional about using my time wisely.  I had finished what I had started.

So that’s my (not so) new revelation: to be conscious of the time I have available and to be intentional about what I want to use it for.

After all, nap time can be about more than folding another load of laundry.

Linking up with these lovely ladies.  Check it out.