perfectly imperfect

I Should Be…

I should be 
doing the dishes
but I’m looking at pretty ones instead.
I should be cleaning this house
instead of dreaming about this one.
I should be making the labels I bought yesterday
instead of hoping that we’ll get this 
before they’re too big for it.
I should be grateful we don’t have stairs for Amelia
to tumble down ten times a day
but I really want these.

Source: houzz.com via Lindsey on Pinterest

Or these. Even though Joshua would hate it.
I should be rejoicing we have a backyard
that’s not under water or being burned by wildfires
rather than imagining these.
I should be thankful I have a kitchen
and a pantry-ish corner and cabinet
that are usually full of something
even if it’s not what we always want
instead of trying to figure out how I can have this
in the home I have.
We all want more.
It’s hard.
Especially when the budget realities are woes
and the 3 a.m. wakefulness
is hard to surrender to my Provider.
How are we going to do this one income thing?
The way we’ve done it before.
With faith. And trust. And stewardship.
But everyday I have to remind myself 
that it’s not about things
it’s about this.

And learning to not be afraid
to admit
that I am not perfect.

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3 thoughts on “I Should Be…

  1. I so understand. Contentment, trust, stewardship…those are all things I struggle with. Sometimes it's hard to be satisfied with what I have, to be thankful for the myriad blessings God has given me. But then I think of all those blessings. I have SO MUCH!! Yeah, we struggle sometimes…but then I think of those who have even less than we do. Or those who don't have a spouse and family who love them, friends who love them, and above all a GOD who loves them unconditionally.

    This was incredibly encouraging to me today. I think it might be for you, too:

    http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/08/when-perfectionism-and-to-do-lists-are-overwhelming/

    Like

  2. you are so right. and honestly, the thing that keeps me from discontentment is staying off the internet. haha! pinterest can be a bugger.

    the one income thing is hard, but so worth it. i feel ya. God's provision shines brightly in the midst of it!

    Like

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