I should be
doing the dishes
but I’m looking at pretty ones instead.
I should be cleaning this house
instead of dreaming about this one.
I should be making the labels I bought yesterday
instead of hoping that we’ll get this
before they’re too big for it.
I should be grateful we don’t have stairs for Amelia
to tumble down ten times a day
Or these. Even though Joshua would hate it.
I should be rejoicing we have a backyard
that’s not under water or being burned by wildfires
rather than imagining these.
I should be thankful I have a kitchen
and a pantry-ish corner and cabinet
that are usually full of something
even if it’s not what we always want
instead of trying to figure out how I can have this
in the home I have.
We all want more.
Especially when the budget realities are woes
and the 3 a.m. wakefulness
is hard to surrender to my Provider.
How are we going to do this one income thing?
The way we’ve done it before.
With faith. And trust. And stewardship.
But everyday I have to remind myself
that it’s not about things