Random Acts of…Growing

May 5, 2010 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Belle’s figured out why she’s growing. She informed me the other day it was because she’s “had a lot of birthdays and birthdays make you grow.”

Madelynne’s growing up, too. One morning this week when I asked her what she was doing as she got the frozen waffles from the freezer and headed across the kitchen she tossed back that hair and announced, “I’m making my own breakfast.” Yeah, I’d rather it didn’t involve the possibility of a burnt finger before 7 a.m.

And Amelia? Well, according to my M.I.L. she’s eating 5 oz at every feeding (which is twice while I’m at work) so she’s putting it somewhere! Her cheeks are fat and that dimple is cute as ever. We dedicated her today and she was sweet…and stinky since she filled her diaper just before the ceremony! Ahhh….the joys of motherhood.

amelia · motherhood

Random Acts of…Working Mom

May 1, 2010 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

You know, this title is really inaccurate. I certainly was a “working” mom during the past 10 weeks, even if I wasn’t at an official place of business while I was “working.” That aside, this week marked my return to the world of working-outside-my-house and ended my unofficial time as a stay at home mom.

I really thought this day would never come. I guess I just thought April would stretch on indefinitely and that Monday morning would never arrive and I would continue my little routine of cuddling, nursing, loving on Amelia 24-7 with no interruption for reality. Of course I was wrong.

I cried. I mean the sobbing, snotty, blotchy kind of crying usually reserved for something truly devastating. I cried Sunday night when I washed and prepped all the pieces of my pump so I’d be ready to do that at work. I sobbed Monday morning when I left her at my mother-in-law’s and I broke down at school when a friend asked how the baby was. I arrived in the parking lot on Tuesday morning with a tear-streaked face but managed to get hold of myself when I walked through the doors. On Tuesday night my friend Chastity told me to suck it up and quit looking so sad. Apparently I was depressing others.

So, I tried. I smiled at Amelia on Wednesday morning when I left and she rewarded me with a big ‘ol dimpled grin. I made it through the school day thinking maybe life wasn’t so bad after all, but I crashed when I got home and realized I had coupons to clip, laundry to fold, dishes to load, and church to attend.

I think I might set unreasonable expectations for myself. Or unattainable goals. Or both.

Anyway, I survived. And so did Amelia. Even though she refused to sleep on Thursday night and I had a bit of a temper tantrum at about 3:30 in the morning. Did I mention we found out on Tuesday that she has an ear infection?

As hard as this is, I keep trying to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, I’ve got it pretty good. I only have to work for 22 more days (and only 19 of those involve students) before I get to have her all to myself again. Her and the Sissy Monsters who can’t wait for summer because summer means “we stay home with mommy and eat popsicles and go to the water park.”

I’m not sure why this has been so much harder than the past. Probably because she’s younger than the girls were when I left them. Likely it’s because me having to return to work was not part of the original “let’s have another baby” plan. Definitely because I think she’s the last and I want to treasure all these moments that I appreciate so much more because I really understand how fleeting they are.

We can do this. I’ve just got to re-establish our routine. Of course, once we get used to that it will be summer and routine gets packed away with the school supplies. And I won’t mind one bit to have to get used to being home again.

madelynne

Random Acts of…Community Theatre

April 30, 2010 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

This summer Madelynne will be making her first debut on a stage that’s not in the church or Mommy’s school. For those of you who were privileged to witness her as the “flying sheep of Bethlehem” at Mt. Carmel or a Seussical fishie at North, you know she’s got a lot of…..well, we’ll just call it being uninhibited.

Or so I thought. On Sunday night I took her to audition for “The Wizard of Oz” at our local community theatre. It’s being directed by my friend and colleague, Mrs. Paula who she knows and likes. So I figured auditions would be a piece of cake. I mean, Madelynne’s certainly not my shy child.

The hardest part of auditions was controlling my overwhelming instinct to direct her myself. Not just because she’s my kid but because theatre has been a part of my life for so long, I have a hard time checking out of that director’s role. She was cute, but not outstanding. In fact, if it was my show, I probably wouldn’t have cast her, but Paula is braver than me. Or she has more patience. I’m not sure which, but this is a woman who will put on a musical with 50 12-13 year olds, so she’s got something I don’t have.

Anyway, Madelynne basically just stood there on stage with the other kids who were auditioning. She hardly moved when asked to improv but preferred to slightly imitate the girl on her left (who was older and taller and quite good). Her shining moment, however, involved some quick thinking. When asked what her munchkin name would be she giggled and announced, “Lollipop!”

On the way home I talked to her about how just because you try out for something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. I explained what it means to have a good audition, to which she replied, “But Mommy, I will act like a Munchkin when it’s the real play.”

Well, let’s hope so.

motherhood

Random Acts of…Staying Home

April 23, 2010 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

There’s a lot of debate in the world today over what (or maybe who) is better: stay-at-home mothers or working moms. I’ve been both so I think I have some pretty good authority on the subject. First of all, both are work. Somedays home is the easier job. Somedays being away from home is definitely easy.

So which is better? Here’s the answer. Neither.

That’s right. Neither is better than the other. It’s true. Either way you are sacrificing a major part of yourself, your family, your finances, your goals…..but isn’t that what being a mother is all about?

In the end, it’s about what’s better for you.

I have been blessed to have 9 weeks home with my new baby. Even better is that I have two older girls who have been in school for much of that time, so she and I have had lots of quiet times together. Even “more better” as my 4-year-old says is that I have had lots of extra time with all of them over these past two months.

But the “most better” thing has been having so many wonderful friends to share this journey with. There’s nothing like another mom to understand all the joys and frustrations of motherhood. Especially when that other mom also has a preschooler clinging to her legs and a baby on her hip.

After Madelynne was born I stayed out of full-time teaching and instead worked 4 afternoons a week at Sylvan Learning Center. Though I loved my time with her, I didn’t have a lot of mommy friends and we were contemplating a move anyway, so I didn’t feel led to find any.

I signed a contract to return to teaching full-time six weeks before we found out we were going to have Annabelle. She was well-timed for a teacher. Her March arrival meant I could take the remainder of the school year off and at the time, we thought I’d stay home again in the fall. But as much as I enjoyed my time with her, I was lonely for friends and adult conversation that wasn’t pre-recorded.

Returning to full-time work when she was 5 months old wasn’t too bad. We adjusted quickly and over the past four years I have loved my school and my ever-changing positions there. My girls have been loved and taught more than their ABCs by the sweet staff at Little Dreamer’s. We began to make lots of friends and to connect with so many others who were in this same place in their lives.

So I could really see myself at home with Amelia now, doing the actual stay-at-home thing of play dates and MOPS and grocery story runs in the early afternoon of a random Wednesday. My patience is ever developing and is somedays better than others (probably because I spend a lot of time reminding myself that one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control). The days no longer seem to drag by but are flying at a pace I can barely keep up with.

But the sacrifice I have to make right now for the ultimate good of my family is to return to work. I know this is definitely not “having it all”. I’m scared I won’t be able to handle it. I’m afraid I’ll resent my mother-in-law for her time with Amelia. I’m worried I’ll never be able to keep up with it all. Five weeks back and then summer vacation….and the fall?

We’ll see what the future holds. But at least I know Who holds it. The same One who will bring peace to my heart and provide for our every need.

amelia · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne

Random Acts of…Growing Pains

April 20, 2010September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

With the exception of myself who is hopefully shrinking back down to better-than-pre-pregnancy size, there’s been a lot of growing in our house lately.

Madelynne is getting so tall that her shorts and skirts are rapidly becoming less than dress code worthy. I had Jill cut her hair too, a cute little stacked bob that’s longer in front to please her daddy but less work to comb which pleases mommy. She’s getting just so grown-up!

I don’t like it.

Belle is finally outgrowing 3T clothes (good thing since she’s four!) and lately she’s been climbing in our bed in the middle of the night to complain that her legs hurt. Today, however, she’s exhibiting more than usual stubborness, so she’ll probably be complaining soon that her bottom hurts.

I really don’t like it.

And Amelia went yesterday for her two month check up. Two months? How can that be? It’s gone by so fast. I’m torn between the desire to get these next 5 weeks that I have to be at work over with so I can come back home and the wish I could keep her little forever. Then I remember that as she gets bigger she’ll start to sleep through the night.

Nope, still don’t like it.

Here’s the stats on our little one who’s grown the most:

10 lb, 10 oz. (that’s a gain of 3 lb, 7 oz)

22 in (no way she was really 21 in the hospital)

38 cm of a “somewhat unusual” head.

Yes, that’s right. She apparently has an extra soft spot which is contributing to a slightly pointed back skull. Thank goodness is covered up by all that hair! Our pediatrician thinks it’s fine though. His actual words? “Well, that’s just her head.”

And that’s just my baby. Hopefully for a long time yet.