Dear Ann Voskamp,
First of all, I just love you. I love that you dare to write in a way that breaks all the rules and resonates in all the souls. I love that you are raw and real and messy and glorious in your faith. I love that you always, always point back to Jesus.
I met you once. At Allume in 2013. You were the reason I bought a ticket to my first ever writers conference and went because surely you weren’t as amazing in person as you were behind a screen.
But you were.
You were gracious and humble and spoke the way you write and being in your presence, I felt Jesus. He has touched you and your ministry and its impact is felt in the masses and the trash heaps and you point it back to Him every time.
So, Ann Voskamp, you’re awesome.
But lately I’m a little disenchanted (okay a lot) with the internet. With blogs. With words flying all around these spaces and if one more persons asks me about my platform and unique visitors or mentions Facebook algorithms, I might just throw my fancy computer off my new back deck and wash my hands of it all.
Because, see, I’m homeschooling three out of four kids. One of whom has chronic health problems. One who is strong-willed. One who can’t hear because she has an earbud permanently stuck in one ear while she belts out show tunes from Wicked (thanks co-op for introducing her to that). I’m also editing for a magazine, freelance writing articles and blog posts for others, leading a critique group, and launching my debut novel. Somewhere in there I have a husband who wants attention and a new house that wants a lot of paint and a mind that craves a break.
People tell me I’m doing too much, but I look at people like you and I think, then how? How are you doing it friend? Do you have help? Grace? More patience? Less stuff? Because I’m drowning and tired and can’t figure out how I’m doing this wrong.
I have a dear, sweet friend who you would love and she might love you if she ever got on the internet. But she doesn’t. She learned a long time ago to remove that trigger from her own hypersensitivity. She told me I’m going to have to get out of the way and let God do the work because if I do it all, He doesn’t get the glory.
I know that’s true. But I don’t know how? Is it just an attitude adjustment or is there some secret weapon I’m not using? Like–maybe a housekeeper who works for free? A nanny? Some magic that will make it so I don’t need to sleep eight hours a night?
I have a million ideas and so many thoughts and things I want to say, but the physical act of putting them down requires time and effort and focus and sometimes, quiet. But I don’t get a lot of that anymore. And I know I could put them back in school, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m curious–why do I see so many people who are rocking the internet world and the homeschool world? How’s that working?
I love my family. I love writing. I love Jesus.
So what’s the deal? How are you doing it all?
Really, how are any of us?