Mom Guilt: I’m Getting Over It {Special Guest Post and Giveaway from Lisa Jo Baker}

May 8, 2014September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett2 Comments

Y’all. Seriously honored to have Lisa Jo’s words here on my little space today. To celebrate she’s letting me give away 3 signed book plates to accompany your copy of her beautiful story Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom. To enter, all you have to do is leave me a comment below about how you’re getting over your own mom guilt. For me, the guilt I’m letting go of today revolves around letting my four year old hang out with the ipad while I hang out with the word processor. Sometimes that happens. I’m pretty sure she’s not scarred from too much My Little Pony. At least I hope not.

And now, Lisa Jo.

I know in theory we all know there is no perfect mother. In reality, however, we seem to hold ourselves to a standard of motherhood that’s insane. I mean flat out, crazy-making, cuckoo land kind of nuts. And if that weren’t bad enough, we trick ourselves into believing we’re the only ones who fail at all. the. things. And then we beat ourselves up. And tell ourselves mean things at the end of long days. Days spent keeping tiny humans alive and thriving. When we’ve cooked and cleaned and commuted and brought home the bacon and washed and cleaned some more and checked the homework and sung the songs and read the books we sit down on the sofa and shake our heads and tell ourselves what bad, bad moms we are. That’s insane. And exhausting. And in case you thought you were the only one, here’s a small taste of the crazy that runs in wild and vicious loop through my mind on any given day:

You should have added pureed spinach to dinner tonight.
You should have remembered to buy spinach.
You should have been meal planning for the last four years so that spinach could have made it onto the shopping list.
You shouldn’t have let them watch TV while eating last night. Or this morning.
You should be having more meaningful dinner conversations.
You should have baked the birthday cake from scratch.
You should have bought more favors for the party gift bags.
You should have taught them to do their own laundry by now.
You should at least have a chore chart.
You should have done more educational activities this summer.
You should read more to them.
You should watch less TV with them.
You should work less.
You should educate more.
You should stop feeding them Chef Boyardee anything.
You should make them actually open the library books we checked out.
You should enjoy them more.
You should lose your patience less.
You should have a more creative system for displaying their art than just putting it up on the fridge with the magnets that come with the pizza delivery.
You should have built more fairy gardens instead of just giving them the leftover parts of the last vacuum cleaner to fashion into random pirate swords, wands or zombie weapons.
You should make home made snacks.
You should wash their sheets more regularly.
You should eat less ice cream. You should exercise more.
You should go to bed earlier.
You should be like her.

You should. You should. You should. Until my head is about to split right open. Until I forget that I showed up. I parented. I made dinner. And you know what? You did too. You showed up, you went to the parent-teacher conferences, you read the books, you worried the test scores, you prayed the desperate plea of courage. You woke up when they threw up. You cleaned up, loved up, got up early and went to bed late. You let her paint while you wrote that paper or report or presentation on the day the babysitter was sick.

You carried on and over and through and around all the obstacles of getting to school on time and remembering the activities and writing down the lists and buying the right size cleats and paying the fortune to attend the dance recital that you paid the lessons for all. year. long. You listened to the spats about hair clips and jean brands and tried to find a way to build bridges over the Grand Canyons that recently caved in between best friends. You made lunches or paid for lunches or cut sandwiches into creative Bento Box shapes and still somewhere in the back of your head something screamed, “You’re not doing enough.” You did the car pool and got stuck in the commuter traffic backlash and lost the last chance to re-review that presentation that was due at 9am. You built forts out of old towels and let them jump on your bed. You laughed while they braided your hair within an inch of losing your head. You are a warrior. You are a wonder. You are a mighty-doer-of-grand deeds. You are wildly under-rating yourself. In this season of deep, up-to-the-elbows busy. You are already doing all the things. That’s what counts. Not that you’re doing them differently than the mom at the school pick up, or around the corner or in the next row over at church. You are mothering. You actually already are. So go ahead, let yourself off the hook. Dish up the ice cream at 10pm and not the guilt.

{To see the video reminder of why mothers are braver than they know, click here}.

This guest post comes with love from Lisa-Jo Baker to our community in celebration of Mother’s Day. If you haven’t already – treat yourself, your mom, your sister, your BFF or your grandma to a copy of her new book, Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom. No matter what stage you’re in when it comes to motherhood, we promise it will encourage. And remind you that you are braver than you think.

To enter to win a signed bookplate from Lisa Jo herself, leave a comment below about how you’re letting go of your motherhood guilt. Patience as the conversation loads? Sometimes technology is reminding us that we move too fast 🙂

Yes in My Mess (five minute Friday)

May 2, 2014 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Disclaimer: I wrote this on the iPad. Typos should be met with grace. But that’s what #fmfparty is all about. Well that and writing and hash tags and food references. We’re at Lisa Jo’s and you’re welcome there too!

Mess

He wasn’t supposed to even exist. That’s what sends me to my knees now and makes me hold him extra tight and give him jellybeans even when he hasn’t had lunch.

He wasn’t anywhere on my radar. No idea he’d be a part of this little family, that he’d be exactly what I needed to crawl out of my own skin and into that of mothering.

And he’s the fourth. It took me that long to really get the amazing grace of it all. I didn’t even know I was missing my life until he was in it and making me see everything through the lens of what if.

What if I had stayed a mess who didn’t really know how much I could love and bend and grow and change because these four little miracles are my stamp on eternity and my charge from the great lover of my soul?

How great the mess can be. How powerful the realization.

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · whole foods

10 Easy Homemade Recipes

April 26, 2014September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

We’re getting our homemade on around here. That’s really my version of whole foods living. If I can make it myself, I do. I’m hoping this counts is a baby step toward cutting back on refined sugar and maybe even less grains.

But maybe not. We’ll see.

In the meantime, here’s ten easy recipes for homemade versions of everyday goodness. Enjoy!

1. Rice-a-Roni
Honestly, rice-a-roni isn’t one of my favorite dishes, but my husband and kids love it. Yes, it’s already pretty cheap and coupons abound, but I’m giving that control up, remember? And they eat it in such great quantity the couple of times a month I rotate it into our menu (usually alongside a saucy piece of chicken) that I was having to make at least two boxes to keep up with the demand. Then I stumbled upon this recipe from The Prudent Homemaker and was hooked. So easy, ingredients I already keep on hand, and the best part? Smashing the vermicilli is a great stress reliever.

Chicken Flavored Rice
Mix equal parts white rice with vermicilli broken into tiny bits. (I make a large quantity of this to have on hand). Saute one cup of the rice mix in 2 tbsp butter. Add 2 cups water mixed with 5-6 tsp chicken flavored bouillon granules (depending on your taste) and 1 tsp dried parsley. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and let simmer for 20 minutes.

2. Coffee Creamer
This one is still in the experimental stage although we’ve gone through an entire bottle of hazelnut syrup in the past six weeks trying to find the perfect ratio of cream-milk-flavoring-sugar to suit our highly caffeinated and super sweet taste buds. (This would be where trying to cut the sugar comes in.) I’ve pinned several recipe pages, and my friend Abigail swears by the one with sweetened condensed milk (which is my next experimental homemade recipe), but so far, what I like best is blending equal portions of milk and cream with sugar and flavoring to taste. The best part is, again, these are usually ingredients I have on hand anyway, so I no longer feel the stress of being out of International Delight and needing a grocery run at 10 p.m. before the 5 a.m. alarm.

3. Cream Soups
I’m loving this one. In the past year, I’ve probably bought canned cream of chicken soup twice just because I was in a hurry to get a meal done and didn’t have ten extra minutes. But this recipe is definitely better!

Cream of Chicken Soup (adapted from Simply in Season)
2 cups dry milk powder
3/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup chicken flavored bouillon granules
1 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp pepper
2 tsp onion powder (optional)

Mix ingredients together. Store in a tightly covered container in fridge until ready to use. To prepare amount equal to one can, mix 1 1/4 cup cold water with 1/3 cup of mix in a saucepan. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. (Will take about 10 minutes and will burn if it gets too hot.) **I like to use a saute pan because I can achieve consistency faster and often I’m adding in other ingredients to make a casserole, so I’m conserving my dirty dishes.

4. Alfredo Sauce
I don’t make a lot of white sauces, but one pizza night Joshua had a friend coming who doesn’t like tomato sauce, so I gave this one a try. Oh my goodness. It was awesome. So easy, so cheesy, so delicious on the homemade pizza dough.

Alfredo Sauce (adapted from Simply in Season)
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp flour (all purpose or whole wheat)
Heat butter in saucepan and then add flour. Cook over medium heat for 3 minutes then remove.
1 cup milk
1/4 tsp salt
pinch of nutmeg (optional)
Add and return to heat. Bring to a boil, stir constantly until thickens. Add 1/2- 1 cup shredded mozzerella cheese. Remove from heat. Spread on pizza dough or if too thick, add more milk and serve with pasta.

5. Pizza Dough

The Pioneer Woman will show you how to make this with great photographs and witty comments. Or you can wait for me to get around to posting a tutorial, but you’ll probably have to order takeout a few more times first because I’ve had a draft for this post in my account for a year. This is the simplest and most foolproof pizza crust recipe ever. Sometimes I even use whole wheat flour and pretend it’s very healthy under all that cheese. If you really want to know how to do it and you live local to me, just stop by one Friday night and we can knead together. Or you can check out some of my pizza recipes here.

6. Waffles
“Affle” was one of Gus’s first words. Might be a commentary on how often I make this recipe. Honestly, at least once a week. So lego my eggo and give it a try. Yes, it really is better with whole wheat flour. I like to slice fruit and top the waffle but my kids just prefer syrup. Or a fried egg. Or a piece of sausage. Then they eat the unwashed strawberries straight from the container while I’m cooking. Seriously, mornings at my house require coffee with lots of cream (see #2).

Whole Wheat Waffles (from Simply in Season)
2 eggs
2 cups plain or vanilla yogurt OR 1 cup milk and 1 cup yogurt
Beat eggs and stir in yogurt mixture in large bowl.

1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
Mix in a small bowl and then add to wet ingredients. Stir until just moistened.

1/4 cup oil or melted butter
Add and stir until just blended. Overstirring makes tough waffles. I bake mine in a Belgium waffle maker that makes four 4×4 waffles at a time using about 1/4 cup batter per waffle. I usually get 16 waffles out of this recipe. I usually have none left.

7. Oatmeal
As in baked with lots of goodies like blueberries or peanut butter or chocolate chips for a special treat. My family loves instant oatmeal but can eat through a box of ten little packets in two days, so I started trying this. Jane over at Thy Hand Hath Provided has a great recipe that they all like and is quick to whip together. It makes a lot, too, so I usually just half it. This is the perfect breakfast for chilly mornings!

Might I recommend a bib before feeding the baby?

8. Tomato Sauce
This is another one of those things I almost never buy anymore. It’s so easy to make a homemade version and it’s good even if tomatoes are out of season and I use canned. I’ll be making huge batches of this all summer to freeze. We use it as our pizza sauce as well. Sometimes I even use it as a base for vegetable soup. Or best of all, I just dip a hunk of homemade bread right in the pot. It’s awesome and worth the time. I promise. You can find the recipe on a post I did right here.

9. Salad Dressing
With all the varying recipes out there, why wouldn’t you make your own? I like the simplest versions and am forever stuck on this version of balsamic vinegarette. Yes, sugar, I know. That’s what makes it good.

Balsamic Vinegarette (adapted from Thy Hand Hath Provided)
3/4 cup olive oil
2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/4 cup sugar or honey
6 tbsp balsamic vinegar

Mix together well and serve with spinach salad and homemade bread. Or drizzle over bruschetta.

10. Apple Dip
This is one of our favorite snacks right now and I feel like super healthy mom when I serve it. So simple that the recipe was told to me by my friend Kelly on the yogurt aisle of Ingles one Saturday morning. Super yum.

Apple Dip
1 cup plain greek yogurt
1-2 tbsp peanut butter
1-2 tbsp honey
Mix together and serve with sliced apples. May need to adjust quantities to taste. The first time I made this I used vanilla flavored yogurt. That was really good, too.

Want more great recipes like these? Check out the food shelf of ebooks available now as part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle! One low price gets you these and so many more to help you organize, simplify, and enjoy the tasks of homemaking. But hurry the sale ends soon!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for reading! Read the fine print about the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle here.

gardening · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · living local · summer · whole foods

The Best Tomato Sauce Ever

April 26, 2014September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

The tomatoes are overtaking our garden, and thereby, my countertops. This picture really doesn’t do them justice. The container in the background represents a half-hours work of scalding and peeling and chopping only to turn around and realize I missed all these that the girls had piled on the kitchen table.

Oh, and that’s some basil with them. We’re making tomato sauce tonight.

Which means we had to venture down to the farmer’s market for an onion or two, which means we came home with a watermelon, peaches, zucchini, three onions, and Amelia stole some crayons.

My girls are having an enlightening summer. Madelynne just realized that spaghetti sauce is actually made from tomatoes. I’m not sure what she thought it was made from before, ketchup maybe? Of course, that’s made from tomatoes too. But they’re not going to admit they actually like tomatoes.

What they like, though, is finding them at summer’s peak hiding behind the leaves that are just starting to wilt from summer’s heat. And they like when I make big pots of this homemade sauce and then ladle it on pizza crust or homemade bread.

They like tomatoes a lot. Too bad they don’t realize that yet.

Basic Tomato Sauce (adapted from Simply in Season)

You will need:
a quality food processor
an apron
some patience
a tolerance for heat

Ingredients:
1 medium onion
2 cloves garlic (or 2 tsp garlic powder)
2 large carrots (or more if you like)
1/2 green pepper (or the whole pepper, your call)
2 tsp dried basil (2 tbsp if fresh)
1 tsp dried oregano (1 tbsp if fresh)
1 tsp dried thyme (1 tbsp if fresh)
6-8 cups peeled and chopped tomatoes (about 12-15 romas is best)
6-10 oz tomato paste depending upon how thick you like your sauce
salt and pepper to taste
1 tbsp honey or sugar to cut acidity if desired

Begin by peeling and quartering your onion. Put it in the food processor and chop it finely. If using garlic cloves, process those too. Saute the onion and garlic in 2 tbsp olive oil until soft. I do this in the bottom of my pot. Peel and chop carrots, then shred in food processor. Same with green pepper. Add vegetables to saute. Add seasonings and stir well. Add tomatoes and tomato paste. Allow sauce to simmer at least 30 minutes. Then serve, freeze, or can.

**To peel tomatoes, immerse in boiling water until the skin starts to crack. Remove using slotted spoon and lay on towels to cool. When able to be handled, peel over a bowl using a paring knife. Chop tomatoes directly into another bowl.
**I freeze mine in quart size zip top bags. Let cool before sealing.
**To can, ladle into hot sterilized jars within 1/2 inch of the top. Add 1 tbsp lemon juice or vinegar per pint to assure acidity, seal with sterilized lids, and process full jars in a water bath for 35 minutes. Makes about 4 pints or two quarts. I usually double the recipe to make it worth my time.

This recipe is really forgiving and is a great base to making the sauce your own. Try spicing up a store bought can of tomatoes. Puree the tomatoes for a really thin sauce or leave it chunky and go garden style. I love the addition of carrots now in any tomato based dish. They add the right amount of sweetness and are one more way I’m sneaking vegetables into my kids.

What’s your favorite food to top with tomato sauce?

Disclosure: I found this unpublished post in my draft box and wanted to get it up to go along with my list of favorite homemade recipes. Right now it’s only April, so I’m not drowning in tomatoes. Yet.

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Because Sometimes We All Need a Little Help {Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is Here!}

April 23, 2014April 23, 2018 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

I had to send my the women who are in the trenches of leadership with me an urgent text message yesterday. Basically it said I’d offered to make dinner for one of our own who birthed her third babe last week (and now deserves all things pasta and chocolate) but I’d over-anticipated my capacity for this Tuesday. so, in short, I needed help.

Of course they rose to the occasion and all I had to prepare was the main dish (never going wrong with baked spaghetti). It was an awesomely freeing feeling to ask for help and to receive it.

But sometimes I’m quite guilty of not asking. Sometimes I apparently would rather flake out or have a tantrum or just yell at my husband rather than ask for just a little bit of help. Or guidance. Or relief.

Sarah Mae, who wrote Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, the book I’m reading with that leadership team that welcomes tired mamas every other Friday to MOPS, says very plainly, “What a young mother really needs is physical help.”

Exactly. Sometimes what I really need is four sets of hands, you know, one for each child? And it’s okay if those hands are attached to my mom or mother-in-law or friend or mentor. Especially when those hands are being held wide open and desiring to share some wisdom while folding the never ending pile of laundry that keeps my girls’ room disguised rampaged outlet store.

I know, I know. It’s hard to ask. I’ve got four kids and am just now getting to where I realize how vitally important it is to lay down my own feelings of inadequacy and that idol of control so someone can be the hands and feet of sweet Jesus for me.

It’s okay if you have a hard time with the asking. But can I encourage you to accept the offers? And can I encourage you that if you don’t want physical help, to at least seek some guidance from those who have gone before?

You don’t even have to talk to someone to find guidance in areas like marriage, kids’ activities, meal planning, and devotions. The internet is an unlimited resource that easily overwhelms and intimidates. That’s why I’m excited to share a little (actually it’s a lot!) something with you.

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is on sale today and for the next 6 days only, you can get over 78 ebooks and additional resources for one low price. All downloadable onto your favorite electronic device, all from trusted and respected leaders in the homemaking blog world, and all neatly packaged together so you can peruse at your leisure without having to rely on endless (and distracting) Pinterest searches to find a simple idea for dinner!

It’s the best bargain for ebooks you’ll ever find. When I’m thinking about meal planning and whole foods, I can’t wait to check out:

Happy Mom, Healthy Family Meal Planning by Lisa Byrne
It’s Me or the Coupons by Beth Cranford
Healthy Lunchbox by Katie Kimball
Real Food on a Budget by Stephanie Langford
Advanced Penny Pinching by Tabitha Philen

But summer’s on the way and I’m sure these are going to be favorites:

Just Making Ice Cream by Marillyn Beard
101 Independent Activities for Toddlers by Mary Ellen Bream
76 Free Things to Do With Kids by Shannon Brown

And that’s only 8 of the offerings! You’ll find Kayse’s incredible devotional for busy moms The Undivided Mom as well as Kat Lee’s simple and effective kit for blog planning. Since most of these books retail at around $3.99 a piece, I’d say getting them all (even the ones I don’t need) for $29.97 is the best part of the package! (Yes, you can give away the ones you don’t want but be sure to read the fine print about that here.)

So go ahead, treat yourself or a friend to an early Mother’s Day and start accepting help. Because if we could do it all by ourselves, there would be no reason to have each other, right?

Oh, and MOPS mamas who’ve been loving Desperate? Sarah Mae has three books included in this bundle!

Also, I’ve been writing a little series about Living Whole(ish) on a Budget and will be the first to admit I always need help. You can read about it here.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle through my site, I will receive a commission. I’m hoping to generate enough sales to help me get to Allume this fall as well as plan a few (not free) summer activities for my kids. Thanks for checking it out!