Light at the End of Monday

May 17, 2011 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Not only do I want to believe it’s there, that elusive light at the end of the tunnel, I really want to embrace it with grace and gratitude.

Today was not filled with either.

Today was a day that made me want to run screaming toward that light that beckons of lazy summer days and the promise of a new and different future come fall. Today made me want to throw away eight years of professionalism just to have the satisfaction of saying what I really think. Today will not be a day I remember fondly when I write that memoir someday. Today was a day that epitomizes why I think of naming that memoir Life in the Trenches of Public Education.

Now don’t steal my title.

Today I was not full of grace. I did not turn the other cheek. I did not bow my head and ask for forgiveness because I am harboring resentment and anger right now.

Neither make a restful companion.

Today I was not filled with gratitude. I struggled to see God’s gifts all around me and instead wondered why He bothers with us, so full of ignorance are we.

I came home and made dinner and cleaned the bathroom because Belle decided to plant flowers in the sink and rocked Amelia and switched laundry and showered….and listened.

Jesus didn’t come for the saved. He came for the lost. And I haven’t spent eight years helping those who are taught at home. I’ve been saving those who aren’t.

So even though it’s not counted among the test scores or remembered in the conferences of late, I’ve done what I was called to do.

I’ve taught. We’ve read poetry and prose and realism and fantasy. Banned books and the Bible and lyrics from Switchfoot and the Indigo Girls. How to write a complete sentence, but more importantly how to know when to break the rules. How to think.

Right from wrong. Good from evil. Like and equal are not the same thing.

I haven’t always been perfect. But I’ve put books in the hands of boys who hate to read, pride in the hearts of girls who feel invisible, confidence on the shoulders of kids who still might make it if there’s someone along the way to care if they do.

I couldn’t save them all, but I think I’ve found my gratitude for today.

By God, I helped save at least one.

Project 52.May

May 16, 2011September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

We spent another busy weekend reminiscing at Annabelle’s preschool graduation held Friday night and then we trucking it over to Augusta to help celebrate “Jackson Cousin” and his 4th birthday on Saturday.

Exhausted again. But in a good way.

Friday evening was very special for our family and others who have been taken care of by Little Dreamer’s Academy for a long time. We missed Madelynne’s graduation last year because my sister was graduating high school the same night, so Belle’s was our first and our last for a few years. LDA has been a second home for my girls while I have worked full-time for the past six years and it was both joyful and sad to see them graduating from this place of security and love into the whole new world of big school. I broke when a video of the children sharing what they would miss most about pre-k featured this sweetheart saying, “Annabelle.”

Sob. And Madelynne put her arms around me and said, “It’s okay, Mommy, it’s okay.”

We perked up early on Saturday morning and once fueled by the chicken breakfast burritos from Chic-Fil-A (so yum, oh CFA, when are you coming to my hometown?), headed south to one of my sister’s bigger-is-better birthday parties for my nephew who apparently has an obsession with Sharkboy, which I evidently am depriving my kids of since we haven’t NetFlixed it yet. Wow, run-on sentence.

It was great fun and even more fun to try to capture some of it creatively through the lens. I’m pretty pleased with some of the shots I got. If you’re interested in all the fun, check it out via my Picasa album. And viewing it will make #65 make sense.

One Thousand Gifts…
65. quiet house after a chaotic day

https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · perfectly imperfect · reflections

Imperfectly Perfect for Wednesday

May 12, 2011September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett3 Comments

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve let you picture me imperfectly. Not that there haven’t been lots of opportune moments for it in the past few weeks.


I don’t know. Maybe it’s a talisman to ward off Daddy’s truck running over their bicycles?

But today I’m linking up in celebration of many imperfectly perfect motherhood moments. Like this discovery when I undressed Amelia for her bath tonight.


Her daddy maintains that she lost the other purple sock on the way to church this evening and the truck ate it. Since we’ve lost pacifiers that way, I don’t doubt his word.

On Mother’s Day, Ann Voscamp wrote about the mismatches and messes of motherhood and how we are all, thank God, covered in grace.

“I haven’t got anything together and I can stop looking for some hidden door that’s going to someday open up to my real, perfect life and I can stop waiting and I can start laughing praise, because this wondrous mess, this is it.”

There is great joy in surrendering to the mess and the imperfections and the mismatched socks and the realization that if I had it all together, why would I ever need a Savior?

Yet He tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made, these messes of glorious humanity. And everyday I have to search for the perfection in the imperfect….and be so thankful for what I find.

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · motherhood · project 52

Weekend Run Around

May 9, 2011September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

Whew.

It’s over. And we survived. And I fell asleep reading at 9 o’clock last night and hadn’t written in my journal or blogged or had quiet times or done the dishes or folded the laundry or swept the floor or packed the lunches. But it’s over.

And the beauty of it all is, I’m sure we’ll be doing it again. The weekend run around. Here, there, and everywhere trying to make it to everything and keep everyone happy. Or at least fed.

We started last week really. One Act Play festival at the community theatre. Joshua and I keep doing this because it’s something we can do together….except then we never see each other so it’s really not working out. Might need some revising of that plan. Friday night opener. It was great, actually, but by Sunday afternoon I was really tired of teenagers. Which is what I get for casting a play about high school students with a mix of middle and high schoolers.

Bright and early Saturday morning we bribed the girls with McDonald’s and it was pack up and head over to the yard sale my school was sponsoring as a fundraiser for a special needs camp. It was successful in the grand scheme even if I did let go of a piece of furniture for only $20. But it’s out of my house and that $20 will buy us admission to the water park in the very near future.

We broke from the yard sale briefly to head to sweet ballerina’s recital. Pictures are worth a thousand words….

After the recital, Joshua took the girls up the hill to a birthday party for one of our favorite people and I headed back to finish the yard sale transactions. All in all, I came home with about $75 profit, new decor, and pants for Madelynne to wear in the fall that do not have holes in the knees….yet. Maybe next year, we should market it as a yard sale swap since most of my funds came from fellow sellers.

After a brief afternoon crash by this mommy and this sweet baby–

It was back to theatre and readying for Mother’s Day. Guess what I was surprised with on Sunday morning? I’m linking it here so you can get your own because I may not share! All in all, a crazy weekend, but a life-joy-sweetness-delight-thankful weekend. I just don’t want to do it again any time soon.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=random05a-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0061658197&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne

Sing-Song

May 4, 2011September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

On Sunday evening the girls ended this year’s Children’s Choir with a sweet performance at church. It’s the first time I remember Belle not crying because I wasn’t standing with her, and Madelynne being so subdued.

That’s right, I said subdued. Usually she’s jumping off the stage. But you’ll have to wait until Christmas for a post about the flying sheep of Bethlehem.

Check out the full show here. If you increase the timing on the slideshow, it’s like a movie 🙂