reflections

Looking for the Light

I had several ideas for a post today.  I was going to write about my daughters and how the way they care for their baby dolls mirrors the image I have given them.  I was going to write about my awful grocery store experience with Amelia opening tic tacs and the WIC cans of beans that wouldn’t scan.  I was going to write about the recipes I’m cooking up for a mom’s coffee break tomorrow.

Instead I’m writing about this.

It rained all morning, grey and drizzly and misty and cold.  Then early in the afternoon, the sun came right on out and shone all warm and golden.  Then it rained again.

Yet the sun was still shining.

The sky out my front storm door was streaked with blues and sunbeams danced through the clouds.  But out back the view from my kitchen sink where I was washing the mixing bowls and scrubbing dried breakfast eggs, the sky was darkly ominous…except the sun was still shining on the trees.

Which got me thinking, isn’t it amazing that even when it’s raining, the sun still lights up my world?  Which then got me thinking about the perceptions I create among everyone in my world.  I’ve had some dark days, days when there was definitely no sunshine coming out of me.  You know those days, those times when nothing is right, nothing is good enough, and everything just seems too hard and unfair.  Days when juice is spilled all over the floor you just mopped, laundry is knocked from its neatly folded stack, dinner burns all over the stovetop, and there’s a note from your daughter’s teacher in her agenda.  Days when you think this is not the life I signed up for, Lord.

But He didn’t promise me sunshine everyday or kids who always obey or an emergency fund in the bank.

Instead He promised to teach me obedience through the example of my children; He promised that He alone would be my emergency fund; He promised that even when the sky turns dark, I’d still be able to find the light.

Friday Five · reflections

A Mile Wide and…

It’s Five Minute Friday!  The perfect way for a too-busy mama sometimes writer to help some words find paper.  Or blogsphere.

Five Minute Friday

Wide….

He said it this week in the revival.  “Our faith can be a mile wide and an inch deep.”  It’s a phrase I’ve always used to describe my curriculum in my classroom of middle schoolers, not my faith in Jesus Christ.

But it’s true.

A mile wide.  An inch deep.

I know a lot.  My heart and soul and spirit are covered over and over with the words and the cliches and the hymns and the scripture.  I could write for a mile about being in church since I was a small child, about learning of Noah and Moses and Jonah’s big, big whale, but I couldn’t dig you a trench and fill it with hope.

My faith is too wide, too busy trying to make everyone fit it to become a root that reaches deep to find its source for living water.

So my revived thought this week is that maybe I need to dig in, dig down, dig deep and let God be the one who is wider than the sea rather than me.

reflections · summer · thankful Thursday

A Slower Time

There’s nothing like a few days camping in the woods with the rain to remind me to slow.

Slow down.  Set a different pace.  Our only clock was on the dashboard in the van, because when cell phones can only be recharged by a running vehicle and electricity is for those folks “not real camping” as my children say, a specific time ceases to matter.

We measured bedtime by exhaustion and dinner by hunger.  I fed Gus when he seemed hungry and my full chest agreed.  It rained for hours or maybe less, but its hard to count when raindrops on the tent fly pulse out a rhythm ideal for sleeping.

It was chaotic,
but slow.

It was work,
but there was also play.

We camped at Davidson River Campground in Brevard, NC.  It’s a place that ushers you into Mt. Pisgah National Forest and invites one to stay for days exploring land that once all belonged to George Vanderbilt and his Biltmore dynasty.

Could you imagine owning a waterfall?

Last year we swam at Looking Glass Falls and plunged into the frigid waters of Sliding Rock, but this year the rain kept us exploring in Asheville all day and drove us to a hearty breakfast at a local Cracker Barrel.  When it wasn’t raining we stayed in camp, swimming in the icy waters of the river and watching the girls jump off the rocks countless times.  We talked to strangers like they were old friends and we all delighted in our little explorers who paddled upriver to see what they could see.  They sailed back down on inner tubes and rafts, shrieking summer as the sun struggled to peek through the clouds.

We had to pack up way too soon and back home in the reality of missed calls and emails, answering machines and deadlines, I longed for the woods.

For the pace of slow.

Linking up with my friend Julia who gave me the perfect excuse to cheat my “no dairy for baby” policy and eat amazing pimento cheese.  Also linking with Kate Says Stuff.

Thankful Thursdays Button

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http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · reflections

Working On Wednesday {Breathing Heaven}

I’ve been busy.  Super crazy ankle swelling didn’t sit down for 6 hours yesterday busy.

I have a love/hate relationship with consignment sales.

But I’m in love with gardening.  Well, the idea of it anyway.  Or rather, sitting on my porch watching Joshua and the girls work in the garden while I sip iced tea.  I’m in love with that.

And the way Lowe’s smells right now.

Maybe it’s because I’m preggo and supersensitive, but the garden center at our local Lowe’s smells like heaven.  If we grow flowers and vegetables and spill potting soil and water on early spring days in Heaven.

Which I’m sure we do.

God created all this beauty so why would we ever think it would be contained to just here?

So that’s what I’ve been doing.  Tagging children’s clothes.  Babysitting for a friend.  Breathing heaven.

A return to regularly scheduled blogging is coming soon.

madelynne · motherhood · reflections

Just for a Moment

Sometimes in the midst of all that seems too much, we have the sweetest moments.

Annabelle fell asleep on the couch tonight after a long day of school and church and fellowship supper.

I can’t lift her when she’s dead weight.

But her big sister can.

Madelynne picked her up and carried her to her bed and we tucked her in together and then she told me how sometimes lately Annabelle is grouchy so Madelynne doesn’t tell her goodnight.

“I think God tells her for me, Mommy.”

I’m sure He does, baby, I’m sure He does.

Sometimes it’s just for a moment that the world seems perfect.  But it’s those moments, those small glimpses of Heaven, that renew my faith everyday.