Random Acts of…Popularity

Madelynne’s in Pre-K. Pre-K. Not “big K”, not middle school, not high school, but Pre-K. That K is for kindergarten, folks. And do you know what I have heard about more than anything this year? Not Word of the Week, letters that are friends, or how to count to 100. Nope, I’ve heard about the popular girls.

That’s right. Even in Pre-K, even before they’ve stepped foot in a “real” school, even though she’s at a Christian academy, they’re there. The Pops.

You know the girls who make you feel less than worthy just by their very presence. The girls who are able to command the attention of the room just because they arrived. The girls who you desperately want to like you, even though, let’s face it, sometimes they’re a little mean.

I think I may have issues left over from high school.

But I never thought we’d deal with this at age 5. 10 maybe. 12 definitely. 15? Well by then you either are or you aren’t, so you learn to live with it. Even though it still hurts that you might be good enough for an English lit tutoring session but not for the big party.

She’s five. FIVE YEARS OLD and already knows “cool.” Already desperately wants just to fit in, be liked, to be….popular.

I never was, so it hurts me all the more for her to come home and cry because three of the six girls in her little class wouldn’t play with her today. For no reason other than she’s not in their “group.” How do kids even know what a clique is at this age?

And where do I draw the line? How do I teach her that she’s not going to always fit in, that sometimes it’s okay to be left out, that she can have friends that are just as good, if not better to her than those Pops?

How do I teach her that when I have a hard time understanding it myself?

I welcome any and all how-to-mommy-girls advice 🙂

Oh, and this is definitely a girl thing. The boys LOVE her. A little too much we think.

4 thoughts on “Random Acts of…Popularity

  1. Madelynne is a beautiful, sweet little girl. Maybe the other girls act that way because the boys seem to like her more than them. Who knows what drives them to act the way they do. I'll pray for Madelynne and her self-confidence and that this will be a short-lived phase for her. I'll pray for you to have the right words to be able to comfort her.

    My mom passed away when I was 15 and I always remember her telling me “just tell them you'd like to buy them for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth”. At the time it sounded dumb, but I eventually figured out what it meant. True friends aren't mean and hurtful, and if they aren't a true friend you don't need them anyway…. kinda hard to tell that to a five year old though.

    If anything good can come out of it, hopefully she'll see that she doesn't want to be that kind of girl.


  2. Bless your heart and Madelynne's. I guess this is one of the reasons God gave me boys. I didn't have my rough spot with other girls until 7th grade, so I'm surprised to hear of it in preschool. 😦


  3. I obviously don't know much about raising girls, but I do remember struggling with wanting to fit in when I was growing up…especially in middle school. So, instead I will pray for you both as you endure this season. Hopefully, kindergarten will bring a fresh new start for your sweet girl.


  4. Lindsey my heart is breaking. But I understand. It started for Haleigh when she was three because her shoes were not the same. Girls can be really mean. Laura boys don't seem to go through this stuff. Kimberly my grandmother has told me that saying my whole life about people her age who think they are worth so much. I am smiling because I can hear her saying that now. Lindsey my God give you guidance, understanding, and the love that Madelynne will need.


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