Story {Five Minute Friday}

It’s Friday and that means it’s time to write for five minutes, no editing, no backtracking, no overthinking. Lisa-Jo provides a prompt and in this community we write and then we encourage one another.  So link it up, friends, and share the love.

This week’s prompt is….

Story

Usually I’m a good girl, a rule follower, a yes, yes, yes, responder who just wants to please and takes everything as it comes.  I only really said no once.

I said no to the curly haired, dimple cheeked, screeches at his big sisters when he wants more juice baby boy sleeping in the crib down the hall.

I didn’t want him at first.  And that’s the bare ugly truth of what is becoming my story.  When I found out I was pregnant, I cried for days.  I hid in the shower and sat on the floor and could barely hold up my head because my story wasn’t supposed to be the girl who quit her job and was just a stay at home mom.  My story was supposed to be doing great things and writing profoundness and making differences and finally getting to breathe after three girls and a brief career.

I was ready for my story.  What I wanted.

Thank God I’m not in charge of what I want.  Thank God He knew I needed that baby to be my story of grace and redemption and brokenness and life and love.

I want him now.  I want him to be wholly the man the Lord has set him apart to be.  So much more than this weary selfish mama could ever raise him to be.

I want my story to become his story; how there’s always a plan and a purpose and a gift when we say yes to God.