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On Fatigue, Fear, and Friday Night Lights

I’ve reached that point where my major project is finished and exhaustion has set in. I think that’s the real reason publishers make you wait on a response–that piece of work needs time to rest and I need time to recover.

Not to mention, I think I’ve pretty much think I’ve ruined my eyesight in the last two weeks. Between editing and writing, I’ve also been addressing invitations to my sister’s wedding. As if having five sisters wasn’t tiring enough, now we’re less than 60 days out from the big “I Do.”

Then there’s been the flurry of back to school and how that made me just fall apart.

So, I’m tired. And when I’m tired I want to hide. That’s why there’s a flattened John Grisham paperback on my nightstand and a Netflix binge of Friday Night Lights happening on my laptop. Because when the fear that I’ve made all the wrong decisions becomes overwhelming I like to remind myself, at least I’m not defending a client on death row or coaching high school football.

Seriously, y’all.

Let’s just take a moment to put life into perspective.

I wrote a book. Maybe it will get published and if it does, I need everyone reading this blog to buy at least three copies so I can afford to get some reading glasses.

Amelia has a diagnosis. Clinically Isolated Syndrome. For me, having a name for our nightmare helps me move past it and into our new normal. Except for those times I am struck down with fear that she will get sick and relapse and our life will collapse all around us, all over again.

Fear is crippling.

So I hide a little and rejuvenate and wonder why in the world I didn’t listen to April three years ago when she told me to watch Friday Night Lights.

Oh, yeah, because it’s a little bit like watching my high school days on television. We won a state football championship once. And my little hometown has never, and will never, forget it.

But you know what’s true? That show–and my hometown–really are about more than football. They’re about clear eyes–seeing the hardship in front of you and rising to the challenge. They’re about full hearts–believing good will triumph no matter what.

That’s what we all have to believe isn’t it? If we’re going to survive through this world of fear and fatigue, we have to believe that bad times can be upended by good–and hard times only last for a season.

Do yourself a favor if you’re worn out or worried. Let yourself hide for a little bit. I’ve got a big sectional sofa, two more seasons to watch, and nothing wrong with my listening skills at least.

P. S. Matt Saracen is my favorite. Hands down. But Tim Riggins is growing on me and I sure didn’t see that coming. Oh, and when I grow up I want to be a mom like Tami Taylor. And I want Joshua to talk to our girls about sex the way Eric talks to Julie when they’re playing ping pong in season 1. That’s it. I’m done. Go watch it. And you’re welcome.

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