Learning Lessons from My Strong Willed Child

March 20, 2014September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Dear Annabelle,

I’m going to need you to come back home. I know you’re loving hiking with your Marmie on the AT even though it’s wet and cold, but I need you here.

You’re my strong-willed child, for sure, but it’s that strong will of yours that’s teaching me lessons of eternal value.

Did you know that since you’ve been gone, bedtime routine hasn’t happened? It’s because you’re the one who likes order, while the rest of us, apparently, are easily distracted.

I’ve been thinking, too, about how much you love for things to be fair. I’m trying to help you understand that life just doesn’t work that way, that there will always be things that are not fair and that we cannot fix, but have to learn to live with. Right now, Madelynne thinks it’s really unfair that you are hiking by yourself with Marmie, but I bet you think it’s really unfair I bought her new shoes. You’re helping me learn not to apologize for when things don’t work out the way we want, and you’re inspiring me to let you learn early on, as hard as it may be, that life just isn’t fair. I don’t want to set you up for the expectation that it is. I’d rather you get hurt a little bit now, while I’m here to hold you, than later when you’re older and not used to handling all of life’s unfairness.

You’re teaching me that if I want you to learn how to react appropriately, than I have to model that for you. I had a tantrum myself on my recent birthday because unfair things happened, but my reaction only made the situation worse. That’s never what you want to do, and I’m seeing so much of myself in you lately, that I want to help both of us learn now, that our responses to life’s little hiccups say a lot about our deepest beliefs.

You’re teaching me about those beliefs too. You aren’t my child who wants feel good faith. You want concrete, real evidence and you want literal understanding of everything you’re being taught. That’s hard when we’re talking Christian theology and Baptist doctrine to you because you’re only eight years old today and I’m thirty-four and certainly don’t (and never will) understand everything.

But you’re teaching me how to talk to you in a way that lets Jesus do the work. Sometimes I want to push you to tell me those words we learn in Sunday School about inviting Jesus into our heart, but you tell me that words and water don’t make you clean, Jesus does. And I can’t really argue with that.

So I dig deeper into the Word and read passages like this:

4-7 But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.

Galatians 4:3-7 (The Message)

You have such a hunger to know and understand that I don’t doubt the Holy Spirit is working with you. And when you commit to something, you’re all in, which makes me so excited (and a little scared) to imagine the great things God has planned for your life. I just hope your little heart continues to understand that you don’t have to be imprisoned by laws and rules because Jesus makes you free.

By far you are my most compassionate child. I’m still holding on to the idea that you might be a lawyer who seeks to right social injustice someday, but for right now, you just want to make sure everyone has a Christmas present and if I make muffins that there are some extra to take to your teachers. You believe in crazy, outlandish, uninhibited giving–because you are just like your daddy in all the best ways.

I love you my strong-willed eight year old. You challenge me most everyday, but you’re making me a better mother and a stronger person as I learn that real strength comes with the willingness to say I can’t do it all by myself.

Oh, and since I’m a day late on this birthday post, I’m going to have to write another one about how I brought a you a birthday cake and you gave it away. A love like that deserves its own words.

Love,
Mama

Friday Five · motherhood · one word 365 · reflections

What’s Been Crowding My Heart (Five Minute Friday)

March 14, 2014 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

It’s Five Minute Friday, and that’s about all the time I have for this blog right now. I’ll tell you why below.

Prompt is crowd:

There are thousands of texts on a group text message on my about to kill itself iphone 3 because I have five sisters and a sister-in-law and we know no restraint.

There’s about 180 pages of word vomit in a document on my computer and I’m trying to finish and maybe suck it up and let someone actually read it before I go this conference in May and try not to throw up when I meet with agents.

There’s a new season of MOPS on the horizon and new leadership and I’m trying to give advice while letting go of control.

There’s four little sets of toes and swirly hair and tickling fingers in my bed on Saturday mornings and their daddy is just grateful we took the plunge and set up the king size before he got knocked to the floor.

I’ve been tagging and selling and working consignment, redecorating the living room, making tomato sauce from scratch, and strategizing marketing plans for the CSA for the past two weeks. Baby boy has eczema and I want to write and submit some articles (or maybe rewrite what’s already there?) and should I try an ebook and daylight savings is kicking me to the curb, y’all.

Life’s a little crowded right now. Even when I’ve let go of some responsibility, I’ve found more to fill it with and less time to be here, in this community, and I don’t know, maybe that’s okay?

Maybe I’m feeling crowded because I’m still failing to recognize my season.

It doesn’t have to be everything right now. It doesn’t have to be now or never. It doesn’t have to be a missed opportunity if I choose to wait.

Sometimes, the crowd has to thin out a bit so we can really see where we’re going.

faith · giveaways · linkups · motherhood

What You Can Give (and get) From Your Kitchen Table {Falling in Love with the World Next Door: Part 2}

March 11, 2014September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

My baby boy is spooning oatmeal into his face faster than I can say hot-hot! He’s sitting at our kitchen table that my husband helped me sand and my children helped me paint and he’s just eating instant oatmeal out of the pack. It’s not even the good homemade baked kind my kids are liking lately with blueberries.

It’s just instant oatmeal that I made in five minutes because I have an electric stove and a microwave and a refrigerator that is always full even when I say it’s empty.

My kitchen is nothing spectacular and it’s not getting featured on HGTV anytime soon unless it’s on a remodel show because usually all I ever see is what’s wrong. Like, how my cabinets are unfinished inside and need new doors and that my super-deep cast iron sink could use a new finish.

And if I had $16,000 to put toward a new kitchen, you can bet it would be something spectacular. I’m dreaming of gas stoves and soapstone counters and pull out storage in brand new cabinets and one of those really big fridges you can put trays in and an entrance straight from the kitchen to the deck so people don’t have to trek through my bedroom anymore when we’re having a barbecue.

But in Maubane, South Africa $16,000 can buy a kitchen for dozens of families and the orphans they’re raising. It can buy a roof instead of a tent and a stove instead of a fire pit in the ground.

It can buy a place for a community to gather.

Untitled

It can buy a place where we can help save the future for the motherless and fatherless who are coming to know the one true Father and Creator of all.

Untitled

Now, that’s a pretty spectacular kitchen.

Today won’t you sit at your kitchen table and join the online community who is helping make this crazy dream come true? I’m part of a team that’s writing alongside blogger Lisa Jo Baker, who champions moms to believe they can do great things at their own kitchen tables.

But this is more than a project to her. It’s a lifeline because Maubane, South Africa is her hometown, her kitchen table, her community. It’s where her father is raising another family of rescued orphans and where he doctors during the week and preaches on Sundays.

This isn’t a random group of people. These are people who are connected to those of us who read Lisa Jo’s words and believe them because they are a part of her story.

So, when you bow your hands with your children in prayer, when you wipe the spilled milk and the stickiness off that table, when you set it with everyday china or Solo cups, give thanks for the table you have. And maybe consider giving this gift to another mom who’s a lot like you.

A mom who wants to teach her children gratitude for the hard times and the good times. A mom who wants to teach her kids how to trust in the love of people because we trust a great big God to bring us together.

Sometime we’ll dance in Heaven about how God was glorified in the building of this community.

Or maybe before then, we’ll dance in Maubane, together, in the kitchen while we peel potatoes and slice oranges and give thanks.

There are so many fabulous ways and rewards for giving to this project today (or any day between now and Mother’s Day). You can click here to visit Lisa Jo and read all the details, but here’s a quick set of links:

Pure Charity: Give right here directly to the fund and watch it grow!

Buy a Vintage Dictionary Necklace from Krafty Kash and $12 goes directly to the fund. (Mother’s Day, hint! hint!)

Donate $40 and Money Saving Mom will pre-order you Lisa Jo’s book, Surprised by Motherhood, to be released on April 1, 2014 (April Fool’s Day, of course!). She’ll also send you her own great read Say Goodbye to Survival Mode.

If music is your love language, click here to order this beautiful album and learn to sing Jesus Loves Me all over again while supporting the building of this community center.

Finally, if you just pre-order Lisa Jo’s book right here, a portion of her proceeds goes directly back to this community because she knows motherhood is never short on surprises or encouragement.

AND if you leave me a comment telling me that you donated and why you’re choosing to support this community, I’ll randomly select someone to get a sweet little package in the mail. It’s nothing big, but sometimes you just need a new dishtowel, yes? https://www.purecharity.com/widget?aff=jwgo5&slug=community-kitchen-and-welcome-center&utm_source=9jpa6&utm_medium=widget&utm_campaign=community-kitchen-and-welcome-center

Friday Five · Home

Are You Willing? {Five Minute Friday}

March 7, 2014 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Two nights ago this sweet little stop I call home nearly burned to the ground.

In a picturesque downtown with a half dozen little cafes and taverns and another handful of businesses that move in and out, it can be hard to make a living. It can be hard to believe that pouring your blood and sweat and retirement into an expensive storefront on main street is worth more than planting yourself a few miles down the road in the strip beside Walmart.

Especially when that building is 100 year old pine that goes up like kindling. That’s what they kept saying. How those flames leapt so fast and have now changed the face of history in my little town. How they licked and fed and ravaged before they were contained by brave fighters from all over this county.

But when something you love has burned to the ground, you can’t just stand by and watch it happen and then walk away and never look back. Whether it’s your home or your business or your marriage or your family, when it’s something that’s been the better part of you, you raze that ground and build again.

You come back. You find it in your soul to be willing to give another chance.

On Fridays, I join in with a group of writers willing to go bare in the world of words for five brave minutes. We write without overthinking, without editing, without pause. We write for five minutes on the same prompt and then we share it all together in great big linkup at Lisa Jo’s. You can find us trending on twitter with #fmfparty. Come on over and join the fun.

linkups · saturday rambling

Linking You Up {Weekend’s Best Reads}

March 1, 2014 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Sweet Jessie, who had one of the best smiles at Allume last year, has this fun linkup in which we all share our favorite reads from the week. I’ve written nothing here this week, but maybe in the days there will be more.

I’m working on a lot of projects right now, finishing up the MOPS year, typing away at the never-ending novel, submitting articles to various publications and trying simultaneously not to get my hopes up or sink to the depths of despair over rejection. Oh, and I’ve got a column for the paper due this week. I just love my church family who stops me when I’m getting my sweet tea on Wednesday nights to tell me they love what I write. Helps me remember that it’s okay to be small and that my small is someone else’s big.

We’ve also got a lot of personal reflection going on right now. Nothing I really want to get into, but we’re in a waiting phase right now and I don’t like it because I’m so impatient. I just want the change and I want it now, even though I’m not really sure what it should be. Which makes no sense, I know. Maybe I’ll figure out some words this week. We’ll see.

So my best reads this week are random and varied but what my soul needed.

100 Ways To Make Your Marriage Rock: This is an older post from Kristen Welch, but it was just something I needed this week. We get in the routine, you know, and it’s not that things are bad, it’s just that maybe they could be better? This list jogged my memory with great ideas of things we could do together to improve our marriage, because let’s face it, nobody’s perfect and nobody’s got it together all of the time. Personally, I really love how she says in #20 and #21 to look to him to make the big decisions and let her make the small ones. Lately, we’ve had a bit of an issue with me trusting Joshua and believing him when he tells me our debt payoff will work, and we’ve had issue with him giving me opinions on things like new bedding when he really doesn’t care, but I asked so he figured I cared what he thought. (It’s not that I didn’t value his opinion, but I had a vision that he didn’t know about. Bet you can guess how that went.)

Amy at Coffee with the Mrs. writes my heart in this post about finding your place at the roots. Right now, we’re both hoping funds come through so we can have cupcakes and coffee together at Allume this year, but what she says here is so exactly where my heart needs to be, no matter what happens.

How to Choose what’s important today over at Lisa Jo’s was the Five Minute Friday prompt this week. I didn’t write because choosing is what I’m at odds with right now so I couldn’t even choose which of the five topics came to my mind when I saw this. But her words about choosing to recognize that the daily mundane really is what matters most, and when she says “The only thing that stood the test of time was who was the parent and who was the child.” I almost wept.

And since we’re in this season of trying to decide (and hoping) on a new home I also loved this post at Incourage 5 Ways to Build a Beautiful Home because ultimately that’s the kind of home I want.

Lastly, on that home note, The Nester always has some great wisdom in the form of arrows for me. I have no idea what the arrows are in my home. Do you know what yours are? Want to come over and help me find mine? Oh, and I cleaned off my kitchen table. Lasted all night.

What did you read that was great this week? Link up with Jessie or leave me some comment love below!