Author: Lindsey P. Brackett

When I'm not wrangling four kids and a middle school classroom, I sit on my back porch in the mountains and write southern fiction that's short and long. I believe in Jesus, library fines, supper at the table, the Edislow life, and strong coffee. Pretty much in that order.
thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday

Lindsey P. Brackett4 Comments
Thankful Thursdays Button
Since my last post was a bit of a downer, and I am working toward emergence from this foggy new existence, I’m grateful that Julia reminds me each week to stop and be thankful.  
Because I’ve sure been slacking on my gratitude journal lately and rather than counting all the amazing gifts God has given me, I’ve been lamenting those he hasn’t.  
But not today.
Today, I am thankful for random, silly, small things that make my world a little easier and my life a little brighter.
Like Stouffers Lasagna.  All I do is unwrap and bake.  Genius.  My kitchen stays clean and I don’t get nauseous browning meat.  And I bought it on sale with a coupon.  Yay for $5 supper.
Speaking of my coupons, today I’m grateful for my local Ingles.  Usually I complain a bit about Ingles.  They’re our only grocery store and can be a bit pricey.  But the checkout girls know me now, especially since I come in pretty regular with Millie in the mornings.  Yesterday the sweet Starbucks girl helped me figure out some hot tea that would soothe my throat and not irritate this sensitive baby, then today when one of my coupons wouldn’t scan, another cashier told my cashier, “She’s good.  You’ll learn who uses coupons right and who doesn’t.”  How nice to know I’m in the right for once!  And did I mention the free cookies in the bakery?  Sometimes it’s the only way we’re getting in and out without mommy having a meltdown.
But when I am having a meltdown, I like to look at colors like this and remember that all God made is good.  And He gives strength to those who have none left.
And blesses us with more than we deserve.
reflections

In Hiding

Lindsey P. Brackett6 Comments

In the three weeks since I last blogged, I’ve put myself in hiding.  Come out of the Secret Annexe, yes, finished that project and thought I would be gearing up for many more little ones. Instead I’ve closed my blinds, curled up on my couch, sat in my bathtub, and climbed under the fall quilt on my bed.

I’ve been hiding.  Because sometimes there are no words to express these feelings.  Or rather, there are words I am afraid to write because I can’t believe I actually feel this way.

So I couldn’t blog.  I just couldn’t.  Not until I was a little more ready to put out in blogsphere just how difficult it has been for me to adjust to news that most greet with joy and enthusiasm or, at the very least, resolve.

I’ve had little of those emotions but rather fear, anxiety, anger, and depression.  But mostly disbelief that God really wants me to do this again.

Pregnancy.  All day long nausea and exhaustion and short temper and I already feel like there’s never enough to go around to the three I have and now I’m supposed to love and nurture and raise another?

We weren’t trying.  Far from it.  We’re the .01% chance drug companies list to avoid lawsuits.  Because it rarely happens.  But it happened to me.  And I cried for a week.

And I went into hiding.  “Survivor’s guilt” my friend called it today.  That I could be given this gift when others aren’t and I am so undeserving and underqualified.

And ashamed.  Because we had so many plans.  Big ten year anniversary get away.  Lots of summer activities for big girls and a toddler.  Trying to start a new career.

But this was not in my plans.  And I’m trying to get used to the change.  And the nausea.

I’m struggling.  But I think, maybe, I can’t hide forever.  And I miss my blog.  So I’ll be back in full-swing soon and won’t always subject you to the crazy ramblings of a preggo.

favorite things

Seek and You Shall Find

Lindsey P. Brackett5 Comments

This has been a tough week.  A tough couple of weeks actually.  We’re busy, busy with the community theater production of The Diary of Anne Frank, which keeps me up past my bedtime every night as I try to bring dignity to the role of Edith Frank, Anne’s mother.  It’s a physically and emotionally exhausting show, not to mention, we’ve got some physical and emotional exhaustion going on in our household right now, so we’re swamped.

And I haven’t written in my gratitude journal or blogged or cared about anything for days.

But today I thought I’d try because it’s finally stopped raining and that beautiful warmth of fall sunshine is peeking through and my fingers are rusty and my words are stopped up in my head and heart and throat and need a voice.

Sometimes I don’t think what I do matters.  Especially right now when dinner is a big accomplishment and there’s no pay stub with my name on it.

But it does matter because everyday, I try and try so hard, to bring a bit of joy to my girls.  And I hope, sometimes, it spreads to you.

Dilly bars on beautiful afternoons.  And that grin.  Oh, that grin.

My toothless first grader with her party favors.
She’s so blessed by so many sweet friends.
Their new favorite book, The Interrupting Chicken.
What else are those cones at soccer practice for?
At least she looks like she knows what she’s doing.  I have no idea.  
She found another one.  Amelia really has a thing for hats.
How can anyone not find joy in this face?

Linking up with Rachel.  And these are a few of my favorite things.

friday favorite things | finding joy
http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · monday

Multitudes of Miscellaneous Monday

Lindsey P. Brackett2 Comments
This weekend I cooked this
this ginormous twenty-seven pound turkey.
I am well aware that it is not Thanksgiving.  But Joshua’s folks bought it at Publix for .69 a pound.
So I cooked it.
And we’ll eat it all week.
Which is great since the play opens Friday and cooking actual meals is not happening.
Oh, and Madelynne starts soccer so having time for actual meals this week 
isn’t happening either.
Which makes me sad.
Dinnertime is my favorite time.
Speaking of favorites, fall is my favorite season.
I cannot wait for the days to get a bit chillier 
(though they’re pretty nice right now)
and the leaves to turn completely 
(but still be on the trees)
and someone to buy me some beautiful mums
(hint, hint)
to set on my front porch.
Source: bhg.com via Joyce on Pinterest

That hint, hint is intended for my husband when I make him read this later

so don’t rush out and buy me mums
because I know you were all going to.
I dressed Amelia in new clothes for MOPS on Friday.
She was pretty snazzy in her dark-wash jeans.

Sweet girl, most everything she gets is hand-me-down, but this I got on sale.
It says “cutest in the family”.  It was Sissy-approved.
Even her shoes are new.
But then she had a blowout.
You know what I’m talking about.
And so I had to bathe her when I got back home
and she spent the rest of the day
in her diaper.
It was easier.
Today has been a pretty good Monday.  
No yelling before school.
Even when Annabelle lied about brushing her teeth.
Workout at Jazzercise.
Lots of laundry.
Trying to settle into a routine.
Lots of blessings.