It’s a monster alright. Starts with just a little thought and then tumbles out of control.
I never used to think of myself as a jealous person. Far too concerned with what others thought of me, yes. Too much of a perfectionist, definitely. Too hard on myself, all the time. But jealous?
That’s the struggle right now. I try to make a jokes out of it, but I’m afraid it’s getting out of control. It is really hard to be patient and wait on God’s timing and see others with all the things I want for our life. And then I think of how blessed we are in comparison to others and I remember that I deserve nothing. Everything I have is by His grace and I will never understand that what this world sees as inadequate, God sees as part of His mosaic for our lives.
And while I’m making peace with my lack of understanding, I’m going to try to remember His commandments and my blessings.