Looking Forward

I’m lying wide awake in bed tonight at 3 a.m. (welcome back, pregnancy insomnia) and start thinking about all that’s coming.  March and April are packed full of activities and plans and needs-to-get-done, and when they’re over, there will be a new baby boy waiting in my arms.

I’ve posted about this journey.  About my fear.  But tonight, for the first time, I thought maybe I can do this.

I started thinking about our summer, all the lazy day fillers the girls and I enjoy and how I could make them work with another little one, and I think I can.

Days at the Unicoi lake will look different, but Daddy works nearby now, so we can wait and go after naptime and stay through dinner time and he can actually come join us.  That’s never happened before.  And if that means we have to stop on the way home and have the best BBQ by the river in Helen, so be it.

Sometimes I think I’ll have to go to the grocery store alone.  As in by myself with four kids.  Which means I may have to save big couponing stock up trips for days when I have a little help, or I may have to use the sweet seven and six year old help I have.  Either way, those trips won’t be the (mostly) easy breeze they are now, but hopefully the won’t be horrible.

I can do this.  I can.

And there’s VBS and MOSAIC and art camp for the big girls and always popsicles on the hill with some of our favorite people.

Summer will be different this year.  But in this moment? I’m looking forward to it.