I Wonder {5 Min Friday}

I’m joining with Lisa-Jo and so many others today to celebrate the last 5 Minute Friday of the year.  So here it is, five whole minutes of raw writing.

Wonder….

I wonder if Mary ever got frustrated.  If she had swollen ankles and if her hair fell out when Jesus was about five months old and if she worried that his teeth were never ever going to work their way through those swollen gums.

I wonder how she stood the whispers and the taunts and the stares and how she made peace with this plan.  What happened really in that empty space between an angel’s declaration and this girl’s submission?

I wonder if she ever felt ready to be a mom.

And all those four times I lay in a hospital bed in a sterile environment with IV fluids and epidurals and nurses and ice chips, I wondered about giving birth in a stable.  I wondered about the mess and the pain and the sweat and the tears and how she did it.

I wasn’t even strong enough to handle the unexpected after ten years of marriage and three other babies.  I caved to the fear.

Maybe it was the absence of all we think we need now.  Maybe it was the stillness.  Maybe it was the raw, barren, homeliness of the stable gave her strength.  Because maybe there was nothing else to do but delight in the wonder of her child.