The Not To-Do List

This post was inspired by the warmup I gave myself commenting on my friend Hannah’s post today. You should know Hannah. She tall and gorgeous and we bond over caffeine and writers conferences and having unplanned pregnancies that send us to our knees.

This is a common trend in most of my deep and abiding friendships.

Anyway, Hannah’s awesome and she writes children’s books and confesses what needs to be said over and over again in the face of Pinterest and status updates and perfection. Nobody’s doing it all. And if they are, they aren’t doing it well.

I fed my kids frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls for lunch and I haven’t cleaned up the kitchen. They’re watching TV on this random Thursday and the house is rather messy and someone should switch the laundry. I bought myself a new planner today because there are dates on my novel publication timeline that are in 2017 BECAUSE THAT’S ONLY LIKE 56 DAYS AWAY and I am about to hyperventilate. Annabelle cried about fractions AGAIN and she told me we will never use fractions in real life and I was a good mom who didn’t correct that statement since I hate math and I’d agree except I love to cook so I’m going to make her cook with me and then we’ll learn fractions and that’s how homeschool works.

That’s also how a run-on sentence works, thank you very much.

I have no idea how I’m going to get it all done but I do know there are a lot of things coming up in the next eight weeks that I am NOT going to do. I made a little list for you because I thought there might be some things you want to NOT do as well so you can do all the things you’d really rather do or absolutely have to do.

Like read a novel. Because that’s pretty important, I think.

1. I will not be purchasing matching Christmas pjs for Santa pictures. There is no budget for this or do I have time to scour the internet/Walmart/outlets for flannel matchiness that one child will say itches and one child will say is ugly and one child will refuse to wear.
2. I will not be painting my kitchen by myself because I have already proven that I cannot be trusted with such a project and also, if fifty of Joshua’s co-workers come over and see the paint samples on the wall and the delightful circa 1990 wallpaper and want to judge my decorating skills, oh well. (As an aside, I don’t really think they’ll judge me but they are coming.)
3. I will not be doing the Whole 30 challenge because while I could stand to give up some carbs (i.e. sugar) now is not the time. April might be good for that, I’ve heard. So what I can put off until next year, well, I will.
4. I will not request extra projects so I can earn some extra cash for Christmas because I already can’t finish the work I have in a timely manner. As illustrated by the text I just got from the scheduler for one of my clients.
5. I will not wade into the mudslinging of the internet over issues that are hot-topic and involve women and leaders I respect. But I will provide you this link to Jennie Allen because I like what she said.
6. I will not kill myself to write 1600 words on my manuscript each day so I can meet the 50,000 word suggested goal for NaNoWriMo. I will, however, write on my manuscript everyday. Today I wrote 665 words and mostly liked them all. Done.
7. I will not worry about how my girls maybe aren’t learning enough science and social studies because those classes are not scaffolded for middle school and they can catch up if we go back to public school and the world will not end and at least they have a general idea of where the continents are. Oh, and they can tell you a candidate needs 270 electoral votes to win an election. Good enough.

There’s more but I should probably shower before I go to the Rotary dinner with my husband tonight, and I WILL be cleaning the shower because the mildew is gross. See? Priorities. What about you?

P.S. Sign up for my newsletter because I pinky promise this time it’s really coming and I have exciting news!!! (No, I’m NOT pregnant.)