motherhood · vent · writing

The Not To-Do List

This post was inspired by the warmup I gave myself commenting on my friend Hannah’s post today. You should know Hannah. She tall and gorgeous and we bond over caffeine and writers conferences and having unplanned pregnancies that send us to our knees.

This is a common trend in most of my deep and abiding friendships.

Anyway, Hannah’s awesome and she writes children’s books and confesses what needs to be said over and over again in the face of Pinterest and status updates and perfection. Nobody’s doing it all. And if they are, they aren’t doing it well.

I also don’t have time to download pictures and I really love this one because it was a really good day just before I took Gus to have his hair cut way too short. (Sob.)

I fed my kids frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls for lunch and I haven’t cleaned up the kitchen. They’re watching TV on this random Thursday and the house is rather messy and someone should switch the laundry. I bought myself a new planner today because there are dates on my novel publication timeline that are in 2017 BECAUSE THAT’S ONLY LIKE 56 DAYS AWAY and I am about to hyperventilate. Annabelle cried about fractions AGAIN and she told me we will never use fractions in real life and I was a good mom who didn’t correct that statement since I hate math and I’d agree except I love to cook so I’m going to make her cook with me and then we’ll learn fractions and that’s how homeschool works.

That’s also how a run-on sentence works, thank you very much.

I have no idea how I’m going to get it all done but I do know there are a lot of things coming up in the next eight weeks that I am NOT going to do. I made a little list for you because I thought there might be some things you want to NOT do as well so you can do all the things you’d really rather do or absolutely have to do.

Like read a novel. Because that’s pretty important, I think.

  1. I will not be purchasing matching Christmas pjs for Santa pictures. There is no budget for this or do I have time to scour the internet/Walmart/outlets for flannel matchiness that one child will say itches and one child will say is ugly and one child will refuse to wear.
  2. I will not be painting my kitchen by myself because I have already proven that I cannot be trusted with such a project and also, if fifty of Joshua’s co-workers come over and see the paint samples on the wall and the delightful circa 1990 wallpaper and want to judge my decorating skills, oh well. (As an aside, I don’t really think they’ll judge me but they are coming.)
  3. I will not be doing the Whole 30 challenge because while I could stand to give up some carbs (i.e. sugar) now is not the time. April might be good for that, I’ve heard. So what I can put off until next year, well, I will.
  4. I will not request extra projects so I can earn some extra cash for Christmas because I already can’t finish the work I have in a timely manner. As illustrated by the text I just got from the scheduler for one of my clients.
  5. I will not wade into the mudslinging of the internet over issues that are hot-topic and involve women and leaders I respect. But I will provide you this link to Jennie Allen because I like what she said.
  6. I will not kill myself to write 1600 words on my manuscript each day so I can meet the 50,000 word suggested goal for NaNoWriMo. I will, however, write on my manuscript everyday. Today I wrote 665 words and mostly liked them all. Done.
  7. I will not worry about how my girls maybe aren’t learning enough science and social studies because those classes are not scaffolded for middle school and they can catch up if we go back to public school and the world will not end and at least they have a general idea of where the continents are. Oh, and they can tell you a candidate needs 270 electoral votes to win an election. Good enough.

There’s more but I should probably shower before I go to the Rotary dinner with my husband tonight, and I WILL be cleaning the shower because the mildew is gross. See? Priorities. What about you?

P.S. Sign up for my newsletter because I pinky promise this time it’s really coming and I have exciting news!!! (No, I’m NOT pregnant.)




The Vent

Does anyone read the vent column in the AJC?  I love how random it is.  Maybe I’ll start my own link up weekly post where we can all vent about something randomly annoying. 

Today’s vent?  TV.

Why does it cost so much money??? Does anyone remember the days when you could have an antenna on your roof and you got whatever you could pick up?  We had a little box on top of our tv-in-a-box that we could turn to change the antenna’s directions so that we’d get better reception for Saved by the Bell in the afternoons.  I mean, seriously, I’m not that old and I can remember that a satellite tv bill used to not be part of a household budget.

Disclaimer: I am from a very small town and my parents did not actually get anything other than local channels and what could be picked up by the antenna until after I was already married and out of the house.  And even then they only caved because my sister was on Endurance, this Survivor show for kids on Disney.  And that’s our claim to fame.

Back on topic.  My vent.

A year ago, I caved to my mother who wanted to watch Anton Ono skate for gold and my own selfish desires to have something mindless to do while nursing every other hour and we added television back to our family lineup.  For 18 months previously it had been movies and series on DVD and lots of Disney princesses occupying our talking box.  And we didn’t miss regular programming.  We enjoyed it when we were with others but that was it.  Until last February, our kids had no concept that you couldn’t pause and rewind television shows.  (And they still don’t think you can pause real tv because we don’t have DVR.)

But it’s been back for a year and I’d be lying if I said we didn’t enjoy it most of the time.  But I can count on one hand the channels we watch: HGTV, Food Network, Disney, PBS, and local news.  That’s it.  They gave us free Starz for a year for being such good customers.  I don’t even know what channel that is. 

So clearly, it’s not worth our $46.26 a month which is what the new bill was when our “new customer” plan ran out.  So I just down graded to the “family” plan.  Why is it that the family plan has no actual family channels?  No Disney.  No ABC Family (I would have thought this was a given).  No HGTV.  So what’s the point?  It’s ridiculous the hold these companies have over my family time, my checkbook, and my relaxation. 

If I want channels we’ll actually watch, I have to upgrade and spend more money.  If I want to cancel, I’m stuck with a monthly cancellation fee until next year. 

But I have a solution.  At the same time we added back tv, we discovered how truly awesome NetFlix is.  And we got a Wii.  So now we can stream anything.  So bring on the cancellation fee, Dish.

I’m done with you.