31 Days Embracing Motherhood: Look {5 min Friday}

October 19, 2012September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett4 Comments

When I look at him he smiles back. Always, invariably, big two little tooths winking at me, smiling. I see his grin that spreads to his eyes fringed in lashes longer than mine and I snuggle him close and kiss and kiss and kiss all over those fat baby cheeks and I look again.

I can’t stop marveling at him. He is beautiful. He is perfectly and wonderfully made. He is mine for this little while.

And for a time I didn’t know how much I wanted him.

I didn’t know how much I would need to have another baby to hold and cuddle and love and I never once imagined that this baby would be my only son, my calming force in the dramatic tirade of strong-willed girls. I didn’t know how much I would fall in love with this baby whose gestation kept me in hiding crying in the shower crying out to God that I could never do this again.

I’m so blessed to have been trusted with this little life.

So I look at him. I drink him in. He folds his hands in prayer when he’s sleeping. He buries his face in the crook of my arm. He looks at me and smiles and there’s a dimple in his cheek.

Just like mine.

I can’t stop looking. I can’t stop seeing the miracle.

31 Days to Embracing Motherhood

31 Days Embracing Motherhood: This Too Shall Pass

October 17, 2012 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

I would love to tell you that I’m putting lots of thought and prayer and consideration into each of these posts. I would love to tell you that I hope my words touch you in some way, help you through a bad day, or make you hug your kids a little tighter before you spank them for getting out of bed for the umpteenth time.

Truth is, I do hope those things, but I’m not in a place where everything I write here is going to be poetic and inspiring. And my guess? You’re glad it’s not.

My reality today is exhaustion. I’m tired. The baby still isn’t sleeping. He’s either coughing or crying or gurgling all night long. When he is sleeping, Amelia isn’t.

So I’m tired and I have no words of inspiration, except the simple promise a woman who’s on the other side of motherhood tells me frequently,

This too shall pass.

31 Days to Embracing Motherhood

31 Days Embracing Motherhood: When It’s All About Perspective

October 17, 2012 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

You know how you’ll have a really good day as a mom or homemaker or employee or all of the above and you’ll get so much done (like canning 8 jars of apple butter and folding three loads of laundry) and feel really good about your accomplishments and you’ll put your kids to bed with a kiss and lie down and thank God for His grace that got you through the day and then–
then the next day happens.

Today was my next day.

Tonight I really needed grace. Tonight I violated the “no-yelling” day we were having. I got impatient. I got grouchy. I got overwhelmed.

But you know what?

Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.

At least not yet.

That’s the thing about motherhood–I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to mess up. I’m not always going to get it right and I’m not always going to have the patience of Job.

okay, I’m never going to have the patience of Job.

But I’m going to get up tomorrow and do it again and try again and love again and be grateful (and frustrated) again…
because that’s what motherhood is. It’s a fumble through the dark to rock a crying baby, stub your toe on a toy, acceptance of messy bathrooms and sticky counters, begging prayer for sleep, endurance love.

Please, Lord, give me rest for tonight and more grace for tomorrow.

For all the 31 Days posts on embracing these choppy waters of motherhood, click here.