Stretched Between

August 18, 2012 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Stretch is the prompt…

In so many ways, it’s all the same. Desks in rows and newly sharpened pencils and stacks of kleenexes and way too much paperwork.

But the feet in Toms or neon Nikes belong to children I don’t know, have no connections with, will only be here long enough to barely know before their real teacher returns. They slouch or hide behind their hair or sit and stare at me with eyes big as I welcome them to their first days of middle school and tell them how many days they will have to know me.

I get up too early but not early enough to fix the breakfasts and brush their hair and take the first day picture. My throat catches when I climb into the minivan alone to drive away and let their daddy load them up all four for first grade and second grade and Mimi’s house.

There I’m in control, the teacher, the confident one who could do this with on the fly and make it seem planned. I console tears and fright and lost schedules and mix ups. I breathe relief at the end that this classroom isn’t mine and I can give it back in only a few short weeks.

Here I stretch to make it all work. The backpacks and lunches and laundry and supper and preschool Open House and all the times that I am mommy.

Even when I’m not there.

motherhood · summer

When It’s All Over

August 15, 2012 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

I need a last day of summer do-over.

But that’s what happens when we heap a mere 24 hours of our lives with expectations and to-do’s and won’t-this-be-fun-it-will-only-take-a-few-minutes.

We simply can’t do it all. So I need to stop trying to live like we can.

Their list of activities was long and unreasonable and expensive.

Gus’s list was short: cry so I can be nursed constantly. All morning long.

Makes for a hard day and hard choices.

In the end, we wound up at home doing #58 on Rachel’s list.

Now they are wearing their Christmas dresses and my high heels (I do have some, shocking, I know) and parading around.

Guess what? They’re happy.

They’re over the abandoned park, the impromptu stop to buy diapers, the frustration of our early morning.

Maybe I won’t need a do-over after all.

Faithful readers, I have done it again. Overscheduled my life. Someday I will learn. Until then, bear with the sporadic posting schedule, because once I make it through this brief season, I am praying for the ability to prioritize and focus more on this love of words.
~Lindsey

reflections · summer · thankful Thursday

A Slower Time

August 9, 2012September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

There’s nothing like a few days camping in the woods with the rain to remind me to slow.

Slow down. Set a different pace. Our only clock was on the dashboard in the van, because when cell phones can only be recharged by a running vehicle and electricity is for those folks “not real camping” as my children say, a specific time ceases to matter.

We measured bedtime by exhaustion and dinner by hunger. I fed Gus when he seemed hungry and my full chest agreed. It rained for hours or maybe less, but its hard to count when raindrops on the tent fly pulse out a rhythm ideal for sleeping.

It was chaotic,
but slow.

It was work,
but there was also play.

We camped at Davidson River Campground in Brevard, NC. It’s a place that ushers you into Mt. Pisgah National Forest and invites one to stay for days exploring land that once all belonged to George Vanderbilt and his Biltmore dynasty.

Could you imagine owning a waterfall?

Last year we swam at Looking Glass Falls and plunged into the frigid waters of Sliding Rock, but this year the rain kept us exploring in Asheville all day and drove us to a hearty breakfast at a local Cracker Barrel. When it wasn’t raining we stayed in camp, swimming in the icy waters of the river and watching the girls jump off the rocks countless times. We talked to strangers like they were old friends and we all delighted in our little explorers who paddled upriver to see what they could see. They sailed back down on inner tubes and rafts, shrieking summer as the sun struggled to peek through the clouds.

We had to pack up way too soon and back home in the reality of missed calls and emails, answering machines and deadlines, I longed for the woods.

For the pace of slow.

Linking up with my friend Julia who gave me the perfect excuse to cheat my “no dairy for baby” policy and eat amazing pimento cheese. Also linking with Kate Says Stuff.

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favorite things · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post

A Few Friday Joys

August 3, 2012September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett3 Comments

The more kids one has, the less hands there are to juggle the expensive Canon camera that requires focus.

Got a few this week though….

Little man is learning to hold up his head and actually getting some tummy time…

and he loves his fingers a lot…

she made a train with the kitchen chairs…maybe she’s hoping to go see Marmie?

It’s really unfair that this is what her hair looks like in the morning.

The love him to pieces. Sometimes I fear that will be literal.

I’m totally in love with him these days…

and Millie is totally in love with Madelynne. They’re entirely too much alike.

So maybe these two will be best buds?

Tomatoes galore from the garden!

Linking up at Finding Joy

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · motherhood · summer

Mothering Mania

July 31, 2012 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

I think we’re heading into overdrive for the next couple of weeks. School starts in sixteen short days and we haven’t been to the water park, books are coming overdue at the library, and the state park pass needs to hang on the rearview a few more times.

The van somehow needs to hold our camping gear, four children and their bicycles, and Gus’s travel swing next week when we head up to NC for a few days.

The laundry is a never-ending cycle and until today, I was on a cooking hiatus. There’s just something about summer that doesn’t scream casserole.

It’s more of a “let’s just eat sandwiches at a picnic table after we hike a mountain” kind of season.

I love sandwiches with a garden fresh tomato. I never really got the difference until I grew my own. Amelia and I picked a bowlful of big red beauties today.

Yesterday we had a big girl day. We bought new shoes and socks and headbands and bookbags and Annabelle said, “I think tomorrow we should stay home and not spend any more money.”

Most definitely.

We’ve been to the new dentist. They weren’t happy about switching but insurance is a luxury you just can’t toss aside.

The flat screen tv was winning them over until Madelynne had to have a tooth pulled. Infected since the permanent was coming in where a baby still was. And she has to go back in a couple of days to have another one take care of and a filling. Apparently, enamel is an afterthought for her teeth.

Annabelle is cavity free, but she’s the one I have to inspect each morning because she hates to brush. So how does this mama explain the fairness of that? Or that the tooth fairy must have been confused that Madelynne switched rooms because she forgot to come! Tragedy.

MOPS is gearing up and my to-do list is a mile long and I must beg the question of why I do these things to myself?

The wall behind the computer is covered in diaper points stickers I haven’t entered in a month and today for the first time ever Amelia fought me about taking a nap.

Mothering is mania. It’s full-out all the time and sometimes I just want a minute to catch my breath. Sometimes I just need a moment to look at the tangle of brown arms and legs and indistinguishable heads that cover my couch and remember why I let myself be run ragged by this time every summer.

I’m tired of the little arguments and the emotional meltdowns and the constant running in the kitchen that makes me dizzy but I’m not tired of swimming at the gorge or playing at the park or filling up the plastic pool.

It’s mania, but it’s blessings.