Author: Lindsey P. Brackett

When I'm not wrangling four kids and a middle school classroom, I sit on my back porch in the mountains and write southern fiction that's short and long. I believe in Jesus, library fines, supper at the table, the Edislow life, and strong coffee. Pretty much in that order.
1000 gifts · amelia · gus · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne · monday · motherhood

When 365 Makes a 180

Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

One year ago, I was trapped by the daunting realization of motherhood times four.
Today I gave up my early morning sleep to listen to that baby boy squeal all up and down his tenor range while attacking the bumper in his cradle.

One year ago, I forced joy at my daughter’s seventh birthday, and then cried in her daddy’s arms because now I would forever mark the day I first became a mother with the day I realized I didn’t think I could do it again.
Today we’re five days into being eight and a whole year into mothering four (because it all starts at conception) and she’s still the greatest teacher of grace I have.

One year ago, I was overwhelmed by the “I don’t haves” of financially-strapped stay-at-home life.
Today I revel in the moments I’m present for because I’m not heading out our door at breakneck speed to continue a life that gave us less than what we have now.

One year ago, either daddy or I read bedtime stories each night.
Last night, Madelynne read Jesus to him, Annabelle read Hop on Pop (my favorite Dr. Seuss) to anyone who was listening, and Amelia brought me Cat in the Hat to read to her and nursing Gus.

One year ago, I was finding joy in the small, silly moments of life with three daughters.
Now, I’m seeking joy everyday in the random, grace-filled moments of motherhood.

….baby Gus chewing his blankets
….the way his face lights up when I come in the room
….Amelia’s swirly hair that is the envy of all her aunts even when I haven’t brushed it in a couple of days
….Madelynne’s delight in having her own space
….the way Annabelle talks about her teachers, this year Mrs. B is the authority on everything
….trying to teach selflessness and failing and realizing that perhaps the best teacher will be the act itself, so today I’ll be calling the local soup kitchen and setting up to take the big girls to volunteer
….trying to get the Word into their heart and realizing I need to put more of it into my own first
….is it irony that the best view of the pre-dawn sky is out my bathroom window?
….regretting that I was so negative for so much of my pregnancy, but thankful that despite all my shortcomings, being honest and open about that struggle has blessed others whose story is similar
….so much joy in hearing of so many friends who are walking this journey of parenthood right along side us…especially my dear friend who isn’t facing a NICU on this go round but should deliver a healthy full-term baby boy soon!

Linking up with Miscellany Monday and A Holy Experience this morning.  Now it’s off to pour some cereal and tag some consignment.  Blessings!

Friday Five · reflections

A Mile Wide and…

Lindsey P. Brackett4 Comments

It’s Five Minute Friday!  The perfect way for a too-busy mama sometimes writer to help some words find paper.  Or blogsphere.

Five Minute Friday

Wide….

He said it this week in the revival.  “Our faith can be a mile wide and an inch deep.”  It’s a phrase I’ve always used to describe my curriculum in my classroom of middle schoolers, not my faith in Jesus Christ.

But it’s true.

A mile wide.  An inch deep.

I know a lot.  My heart and soul and spirit are covered over and over with the words and the cliches and the hymns and the scripture.  I could write for a mile about being in church since I was a small child, about learning of Noah and Moses and Jonah’s big, big whale, but I couldn’t dig you a trench and fill it with hope.

My faith is too wide, too busy trying to make everyone fit it to become a root that reaches deep to find its source for living water.

So my revived thought this week is that maybe I need to dig in, dig down, dig deep and let God be the one who is wider than the sea rather than me.

motherhood · thankful Thursday

Why Yes, I am "Just" a Mom

Lindsey P. Brackett2 Comments

In the past year, ever since I resigned my teaching position and became a full-time stay-at-home-mom I’ve had an identity crisis.  I used to tell people I was a teacher.  Actually, I used to tell people I was a middle school reading teacher and then laugh and accept the humbling praise that inevitably came along with telling anyone that I was choosing, willingly, to spend all day long with a bunch of fresh teenagers whose hormones controlled their every mood.

Then I started staying home with my almost two year old.  And, I’ll confess, it was a little hard to introduce myself to people as just a mom.

For some reason that phrase carries a tinge to it that feels indulgent.  Shameful, almost.  No, I couldn’t hack it as a full-time employee outside my home, so instead I chose to stay here.  And instead of sarcastic teenagers, I get screaming toddler.

Sure, it’s an even trade.  So why did I have a hard time admitting that it’s what I do, it’s what I’m proud of, it’s who I am, and what I’m called for?

Because sometimes people just don’t quite get it.  There’s almost a martyrdom associated with being a mom who works and still does everything (and sometimes more) than I do in a 24-hour period.  I know women who admit that working makes them a better mom, makes them appreciate their children more, makes them value the time they have.

But I wasn’t one of them.

I wanted to build a home at home.  Each day.  Every day.  All the time.  Well, occasionally, I like a break.  But, generally, I wanted to be here, not there.

Yet, I held myself back from embracing that identity.  For so long, I have been a teacher, a coach, a mentor. I’m good in the classroom.  I’m confident and interesting and probably too arrogant.  I know what I’m doing. I know which books to put in the hands of reluctant readers and how to analyze test data and when to introduce complex-compound sentences.

But I don’t want to do it anymore.  And I may not ever want to do that again, at least not full-time.  Knowing this used to scare me.  I felt like I was losing a bit of who I had always been.

But something’s happened to me in the past few weeks.  Somehow, I’ve started to see who I really am and who I want to really be and where my heart is right now.

And there should be no shame in that.

This is what He’s called me to.  This tiny home that’s full to bursting with laughter and tantrums and garden tomatoes and birthday parties and nursery furniture and baby dolls.

So, hi.  My name is Lindsey.  I’m a wife.  A mother.  A homemaker.  I work everyday, all day, all night too. Just like every other mother in this world.  I know where to find lost shoes, how to get ketchup stains out of white shirts, when to give Tylenol for a fever, and what’s on the menu for dinner.  I coordinate MOPS and help with AWANA and attend Community Bible Study.  This fall I’m going to garden with first graders and volunteer with preschoolers.  I write a little bit about being a mom and raising girls.  I’m learning what it’s like to have a boy and how to appreciate quiet and revel in noise.  I’ve been a mom for almost eight years, but I’m just now really starting to slow down and enjoy it.

Who are you?

linking up with Julia today because I am so grateful that THIS is what I do.

Thankful Thursdays Button
monday · motherhood · school

What Three Weeks Can Bring

Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Three weeks is long enough.  Or short enough as the case may be.

I just spent three weeks as a sub over on the other side of the county at the middle school that was the arch rival for the place where I used to spend most hours of my day.

And after only three weeks, I am learning to embrace new notions about myself as an educator…but mostly I have discovered new ideas about myself as a mom.

Days move more quickly when you’re out the door with the sun and begging for bed instead of lingering over one more blog, one more episode on Netflix, one more cup of coffee.

Days are long enough, however, for those babies I left at home to change and grow and become when I’m not there to see it.

Did you know it only takes six days of preschool for a two year old to learn to sing the ABC song and that age-old classic about the bumblebee?

It only takes three weeks for a baby boy to outgrow my favorite sleeper with the zipper.

Over three weeks that same baby boy might cut a tooth.  Or two, prompting this mama to rummage for baby books to confirm that, yes, he is three months ahead of his sisters’ chomping timelines.

In three weeks sixth graders come to believe that the sub is their teacher and they look at me a little skeptically when I announce she’ll be back on Monday.

Three weeks can drain a checkbook when mama is too tired to cook and AWANA starts in less than an hour and dance got out late and McDonald’s is just too easy.

But not too good unless it’s a mocha frappe after a hard day’s work.

Three weeks taught this mama that planning is essential, menus are a necessity, and hands-free pumping can be achieved.

But it’s pumping nevertheless, and I’d rather just nurse.

Because three weeks taught me ultimately that I’d rather stay home than have a fancy house or a new car or a mocha frappe everyday.

Some things aren’t worth missing, even for only three weeks.

linking up with Carissa today…

miscellany monday at lowercase letters
Top 10 Tuesday

Blogging Hiatus: 10 Reasons Why

Lindsey P. Brackett2 Comments

I know you all are suffering in my hiatus from blogland.

I know I am.

My husband pointed out that this would have been a great time to have guest bloggers and I reminded him that guest bloggers still require me to have computer time free from school-filters that inhibit my ability to post.

Truthfully I think he’d rather I make supper.

But tonight I’ve got about 8 minutes to tell you what we’ve been up to that’s keeping me so busy, so what’s the perfect quick catch-up?

A Top Ten Tuesday list of course!

Ten Reasons I’ve Been on Blogging Hiatus
one.
Gus doesn’t like having a working mommy, even if it’s only temporary.  So he makes his opinion known in the only way he can: he attaches himself to me and nurses nearly all. night. long.
two.
It requires two hands to pack lunches that are better than the school cafeteria pizza and cheese sticks.
three.
At some point laundry has to be folded.  Or at least removed from the dryer.
four.
Sixth graders need a lot of help opening lockers.  Then they expect their teachers to remember and recall at will their exact combination 24 hours later when they still can’t open it by themselves.
five.
MOPS starts next week!!! 
(and for some reason it’s okay for me to be in charge of that)
six.
I had over 600 unread emails in my inbox.  Not kidding.  I might be a digital hoarder.
seven.
My brain is on overdrive for 18 out of 24 hours and right now, my thoughts won’t settle into coherency.
eight.
I have been spending a little too much time on Pinterest because it’s not blocked by school filters and is a good distraction when I’m pumping.  Again.  For my apparently starving baby.
nine.
I am easily distracted by things like facebook, email, and the Harvard Baseball team.
ten.
Once I sit down, I’m too tired to move again.  Even if it’s only ten feet down the hall to sit down again.
Ever had a great excuse for not doing something you love??