When the Signs are Telling You to Slow Down: My Search for Margin {Part 3}

July 15, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett7 Comments

The attempts to slow me down were all around Saturday. It was a busy day, certainly not a day into which any sort of margin had been built, and I was half-crazed trying to get everything done and everyone where they were supposed to be.

We did three birthday parties on Saturday. Three birthday parties AND a family dinner at my grandparents’ home 45 minutes away. It wasn’t chaotic, but it was busy. So, so busy and I had so many errands and felt all day that I was racing the clock.

And those signs to slow down just kept coming.

I had the two big girls in the van headed to the next county over for party #1. Had to stop along the way for gifts and pry them away from Dollar Tree distractions. We live in the country, folks. Which means, at any time you are in a hurry, there will be a driver in front of you just cruising and enjoying the scenery.

They don’t get too many looks at cows and chicken houses in other places, I reckon.

Got to the party. Late. Oh, well. Good times, saw some old friends, kids on the waterslide in cloudy 70 degree weather, even though it’s July. Loaded both of them and an extra up early to make it to party #2. Slow, slow, and slower trolled along in front and I tried to reign in the frustration. Got back home, dropped one off there because the best thing I did all day was enlist the reinforcement of another mom to pick Annabelle up for party #3. Hugged my baby. Admired the work my husband was doing sanding our “new” kitchen table. Secretly cursed myself for offering to be chauffeur today while he was home alone with napping baby.

Drove all the way back across the county (opposite direction from party #1) to deliver kids to party #2. Stopped along the way to pick up an item I had bought off the local classifieds for Gus’s Christmas (look at me, planning ahead). Madelynne was very excited to be in on the secret, but not so excited that we were half an hour late to the swim party. Did I mention the gas light had been on since party #1 and while I don’t mind to push it to the limit, I was a little worried that today might have been too far.

Delivered her and friend to party, got gas, ran an errand, price matched groceries at Walmart, which didn’t have half of what I needed, got held up at the register with an unscannable coupon, finally made it back to pick her and friend up from party only 15 minutes late.

Breathed deep. Almost there. Just had to drop off Madelynne’s friend, get home, reload, and we’d made dinner almost on time.

Finally, there were no scenic cruisers impeding my drive and I was able to just get to my destination. A little too quickly….because there was a cruiser of another kind waiting on the roadside when I cut over from the four lane to head back to town.

I knew the moment I passed him and even though I hit the brakes to slow down, I watched him pull out behind me. Never in my life have I felt I deserved a ticket more. I was speeding, and furthermore, I’d ignored every sign I’d been given all day that I needed to slow down.

He was nice, and I guess I was too. I admitted my guilt and when he asked if there was some emergency I was trying to get to, I just laughed and admitted to the emergency of motherhood: I had a to-do list and I was ready to be done.

He checked my license and registration, and then, praise Jesus for grace and mercy and understanding when it’s not deserved in the face of obvious guilt, he let me off with a verbal warning.

You better believe I slowed down after that. And you better believe that it is lesson I need to learn over and over again.

The run-around may get you from place to place, but the slow down? It gets you there with an idea of what you’ve seen along the way.

And by the way, Madelynne’s friend I had in the car? Her mom forgave me too. How’s your search for margin? Any signs you need to slow down?

Linking up with these lovely ladies. Check it out.

Margin Mom · motherhood

Why I’m Giving Up Something I Enjoy {the Search for Margin: Part 2}

July 8, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

The other day I gave my girls a simple task. We piled all their stuffed animals and dolls and pillows, that take up more space on their beds than they do, onto the floor and I had them choose the five things they loved the most. Then we remade their beds with what was left.

Everything else went into a big bag with the promise that I wouldn’t sell or donate it without letting them know, but with the caution that I believed once they had spent some time in a less cluttered space, they weren’t going to want those items back.

I know I could have made up Madelynne’s bed for this photo, but I’m keeping it real here.

Last week, her bedspread could hardly be seen beneath the pile of extra fleecy blankets (despite the fact that it’s summer), countless loved animals, and one very large purple hippo. Now she’s down to a couple of bears, that owl, and her treasured blue pillow and bunny (who must be hiding). And you know what she said? Wow, Mommy, look at how clean my room is now!

How clean(ish) indeed. Amazing what losing just a few things, even if they are things we love, will do for our space.

So I took a cue from the lesson I was trying to teach my daughters and I turned in my notice to drop an activity that’s been part of my life for five years. I need more space in my everyday, and sometimes that means letting go of things that are good so there can be room for something better.

I’m dropping Jazzercise. And I’m sad because I love the workout and the friends and the time that’s for me. But I can no longer commit to the time required for my childcare exchange (I work an hour each week in exchange for free classes), and I am finding that what is supposed to be only an hour workout can sometimes take up my whole morning by the time I travel, workout, socialize, run an errand or two, and then get back home.

But like that bag full of stuffed animals, I’m treating this as a temporary loss. I imagine that after Christmas, when I’ve made it through two conferences, starting MOPS back up, and directing for the community theater, I might be ready to add this back. Or not.

Either way, I’m giving myself the chance to see if I like my life with a little less commitment, so I can learn to be intentional about what stays and what goes.

What about you? Have you given up anything lately so you can have more space? For the first part of my series, click here. For the post that made me consider really finding more space, click here.

Linking up with:

Living Proverbs 31

Margin Mom · motherhood · reflections

The Search for Margin: Part One

July 2, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

You know that thing where you say you’re going to do something and you’re all geared up to try, and then life happens? Yeah, I’m there.

I wanted to post yesterday and start a conversation about how we can find more margin during these not so footloose and fancy free summer days. I even had a great encouraging post to link you to, and funny stories to share about our weekend.

So…..that didn’t happen.

What happened instead was that I got up early to write and finished my monthly column for the paper. Then Monday started and it was a classic bookend for two weeks of busyness and a non-stop weekend. In other words, it was awful. There was a lot of yelling and a lot of crying (actually I started that on Sunday) and a lot of anger and frustration. There was a lot of fighting and whining and irritation. There were still a lot of errands and commitments and chores.

There was not a lot of grace because I was just too overwhelmed to give it.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose trust is the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8, ESV)

Maybe yesterday my roots were dry. But maybe not. Maybe instead I’ve been like my poor yellowing tomato plants in our backyard garden and there’s just simply been too. much. rain. So much in fact that I haven’t been able to pause and soak in what I really need.

Is it really possible to have too much good? It seems so for the plants; too much rain is as detrimental to their growth as too little. So, perhaps, this seems so for me as well.

I need a period after the good to pause and rest and drink it up. To let what was thirsty in me become saturated, so I am ready to start again. But lately, we’ve been so full of one good thing to the next with no pauses in between that there’s been no time for that soaking in to occur.

And the result wasn’t pretty.

Today I invite you to pause with me. To clear some activity, no matter how good, off your schedule so you can rest and soak in His grace.

Because only then can you pour it back on those who need it most.

I’d love to hear from you about how you find more white space in your daily routines this summer. Leave a comment or link me back to your site. It encourages me so to know I’m not alone. I’ll be posting about this topic every Monday (or Tuesday) for the remainder of the summer. Subscribe by email so you don’t miss it!

Margin Mom · motherhood

The Margin Mom {how I’m reclaiming summer’s white space}

June 26, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Just before school got out, I had Madelynne make a list of adventures we could have this summer. We have no family vacation plans, and I was already tired of hearing about So-and-So.

Does your family have So-and-So? In my house, this person has unlimited amounts of cash to be spent on everything from the water park to the beach to lunch out everyday. I don’t know about you, but I just can’t keep up with So-and-So.

So instead I’ve tried to keep up with the Fun Mom. Fun Mom always swims with her kids, lets them eat ice cream and pizza for breakfast, and tries to cram her summer full of educationally and spiritually stimulating activities so that no one is ever bored. {maybe I should write a post on how boredom is necessary to stimulating imagination in children?}

Yeah, I’m failing as Fun Mom.

On that list we have so far crossed off three items. But I’ve managed to jam our days and weeks so full I can’t figure out when we’ll have time to cross off the rest. We’re doing all good things. Camp Strong Rock and Vacation Bible School and Camp Pinnacle. MOSAIC Art Camp and Missions Day Camp and Music Camp. Library visits that have Fun with Legos and the ever popular Ms. Sheila’s Snake Show. I’m even squeezing in the occasional jazzercise class and read aloud at night. And did I mention that for three out of their six camps, I’m on staff? That means summer for Gus and Amelia consists of a constant shuffle between nursery and babysitters.

But I don’t really want to be Fun Mom anymore. I’ve decided it’s a lot of work scheduling every minute of their day.

Instead, starting today, I’m going to be Margin Mom. Margin Mom accepts that somedays have busier schedules than others. Margin Mom is going to resist the urge to squeeze in one more fun activity on the only day we have off from all our previously arranged activities. Margin Mom is going to encourage backyard water fights and sleeping late and Lucky Charms for lunch.

Margin Mom is going to allow the white space left on that summer bucket list to be white space because sometimes that’s the place real summer memories happen.

Come back on Monday and I’ll launch a Margin Mom linky party. Let’s celebrate and encourage the empty spaces in our lives that only need be filled with ordinary moments. How do you create margin during busy summer days?

On a side note, Amelia is obsessed with this Clemson Tigers cheerleader costume. She wears it everywhere. If you want a good laugh, just follow me @lindsbrac on Instagram.

http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne · motherhood · summer

What I Saw at Camp Pinnacle

June 24, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

We arrived at Camp Pinnacle on Friday after the “Colossal Coaster” ride of Vacation Bible School and after not a few meltdowns from this mama and those girls. We were tired and I honestly didn’t believe I had the energy for a mother/daughter overnight camp. Check-in complete, bags in the cabin (pretty nice lodging actually), chicken nugget supper (a cafeteria classic), and slowly I was starting to unwind a bit. Slowly, I was starting to enjoy actually seeing my daughters.

I read this post the other day about how women fear becoming invisible. It only makes sense to believe our daughters fear this too. Until this weekend, I hadn’t realized how little time I actually spend seeing them, and how many moments I miss because I’m not tuned into their little moments. I saw Annabelle grin delightfully and Madelynne watch me intently. I saw the spark of joy that comes when they’re discovering a new talent, realized how much they want me to focused on them as individuals and not just as the first and second sisters.

This weekend gave me an opportunity to do something I hardly ever do: play with my kids. After a brief and fun introduction to worship, we all gathered on the lawn for Color Wars, those notorious camp relay games and my girls were so proud that their mommy was competing with them. They were astounded to learn I could jump rope and super proud when I hopped to the cone with a ball between my knees.

After games, we went on a mission walk with our counselors and learned a little about the camp’s mission focus this summer, which is the city of Atlanta. Madelynne volunteered to pray and Annabelle drew a picture of her cross necklace and wrote “God Loves You” and snuck a peek at me to see if I had noticed. She’s finally started talking faith with us, and this week between VBS and camp, was the first time I can remember seeing her participate wholeheartedly as though the songs and messages meant more than she knows how to confess.

There was a classic camp bonfire with s’mores and songs and silliness and my girls tried to catch lightening bugs and were giddy that the time was well past bedtime. We slept in bunks that rustled all night once the cabin of giggly girls settled down and were up again early for breakfast and quiet times to talk about putting on the armor of God.

My best mom moment came when they observed I had put on my bathing suit: “Mama, you’re getting in the pool with us? Really??” I never swim with them. I always watch from the sidelines, usually with the baby, on the very edges of their excitement. But Saturday morning I shivered in the cool blue water and played Marco Polo and beat Madelynne in a swim race and cuddled with Annabelle when we were both covered in chillbumps.

On Saturday morning, I got to guide my daughter’s hands around a pottery wheel and learn from the other how to fire an arrow from a bow. I got to sit in a swing by the lake and worship in a chapel filled with women of all ages. I got to give thanks to God for giving me daughters and beg for mercy and guidance to raise them.

Thank goodness there was a place this weekend that helped me see them.