What We Did on Mother’s Day

May 15, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett1 Comment

Mother’s Day was beautiful in the South this year. After a week of overcast days and gray skies that only seemed to weigh down more heavily on my hurting heart, the glory of this past Sunday was a lift to my soul. Lately, my mind is never far from unceasing prayers for our friends who are enduring unspeakable grief with grace heaped upon grace….and it is never far from the thought that we have no idea when we lay our babies down at night if we will be gifted with another day to share in their sweet lives.

Motherhood is unimaginably more than we can ever anticipate in both its ups and downs, but this Mother’s Day I wanted to focus less on celebrating myself and more on savoring the four precious reasons I am a mother. We had planned a trip to Biltmore Estate in Asheville long before we knew it would fall after such an emotional week, and the two days we spent as just the six of us without distractions from our everyday lives were a balm to my soul.

Warning: Picture overload. For even more sweet pics follow me on instagram @lindsbrac

Happiest of days after Mother’s Day (but isn’t everyday even in its ordinary chaos truly a celebration of motherhood?) to all those who mother in so many different ways, who anticipate motherhood, who are grieving motherhood, who know that we are but guardians of these precious souls.

oh, and watch for another post someday soon about why we love the Biltmore and how you can love it too!

On Providence and Perspective

April 23, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Sometimes all we need to get a fresh start is a moment to really look. A moment to watch as babies and lettuce and flowers grow right before our eyes. A moment to remember that providence is in the eye of my perspective.

I’ve been hanging on to the now a bit lately. Not unlike the way Madelynne hangs upside down on our swing set that will soon be finding a new home because they’re too big, it’s too small, and some dear friends are gifting us with theirs when they move.

That move is going to be hard for all of us. It’s in the back of my mind and heart and I don’t want to see the providence in such a moment, even if I know it’s there, somewhere.

So I’ve been soaking in these moments of goodness and grace and watching and waiting. I’ve been reveling in the now of sticky popsicle faces and bursting seeds. I’ve been resting in the thoughts that only a short time ago I wanted nothing more than to be rid of this home and onto bigger and better things, but now? Now I’d love to just stop time and stay here and keep them little and have friends up the hill and a garden that’s growing promises and a perspective that sees the blessings.

faith · motherhood

Why I Haven’t Told My Kids About Sandy Hook or Boston…and Probably Should

April 16, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. Brackett2 Comments

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We don’t have cable or satellite or digital television in our house. If it’s not on Netflix or a DVD, my kids probably haven’t seen it. So, keeping them in the dark when tragedy is unfolding all around us is actually fairly easy.

We just don’t talk about the news in front of them.

Of course it’s because I don’t want to scare them, and I don’t want to expose them to life’s messiness before they’re old enough to even comprehend that life can be messy and hard and horrific and tragic.

Of course I want to hide them from all the evil this world has to offer. I want to retreat someplace far away where I can keep them safe and secluded and sheltered and simple. I don’t want them to know that a man with a gun murdered twenty children in classrooms that look like theirs. I don’t want them to know that yesterday a little boy Madelynne’s age died because some crazy lunatic decided to explode a bomb at the finish line of a beloved marathon. I don’t want them to know that every time I hear these stories and watch these pictures I practice escape routes in my mind for the next time we’re in a mall, or on a street, or visiting a museum. I don’t want them to believe there are no safe places anymore.

But I do want them to believe in Jesus. I want them to believe in amazing grace and rescuing love and perfect mercy. I want them to believe that He is a refuge, a strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.

I need to believe. Because if I do, then I can tell them there is evil in this world and it is blacker and darker than any story we read or movie we watch, and it is not a fantasy. It is real, but it can be overcome.

But those of us who believe, who call ourselves Christians, who are steadfast in our faith of a God who is loving and just, we have to be present. We cannot hide from all that surrounds us, all that freezes our hearts in our chests and slips tears of grief and fear down our cheeks. We can’t hole up in our churches and wait for Sunday and pray with the people who come to us. We have to go to them.

We have to walk the streets of Boston and hit our knees beside the plastic chairs in the hospital waiting rooms. We have to help rebuild a school and hang our prayers on snowflakes in its halls. We have to buy our groceries and take our kids to the park. We have to eat at mall food courts and push strollers at street fairs.

We have to go to the movies and not be afraid of the dark.

We have to live and be and love and weep and pray. We have to tell our children there is evil, yes, but there is also light. For every bad guy, there’s a hero who overcomes.

It’s my job to raise those heroes.

Which means I can’t hide them from Sandy Hook or Boston or Aurora. Which means, somehow, I have to find a way to talk about the world we live in without letting fear be my guide.

faith · Friday Five · motherhood

Broken: Five Minute Friday

March 30, 2013 Lindsey P. Brackett4 Comments

I knew many would use today’s prompt as a beautiful expression of the raw broken-ness we see in Christ crucified. I, too, shudder when I ponder the depth and magnitude of that moment that broke the cycle of sin and condemnation.

But this word…when I saw it, I thought immediately of a post I wrote a few weeks ago. A moment about how motherhood can make me feel broken. Because lately, that’s what I’ve been thinking about a lot. How mothering breaks us in so many ways.

It’s broken my confidence. It’s broken my plans. It’s broken my solitude. It’s broken my heart.

Motherhood is tough, unyielding, hardcore, breath-gasping broken-ness. And last night when I lay awake after settling the preschooler back at 3 a.m., I thought about that cross, that pain, that humiliation that broke the body of my Savior, and I thought how I could never do that, could never endure the pain meant for someone else….

unless that someone was my child.

Yes, motherhood breaks us. It breaks us of our selfishness so that we can identify with Christ for just a nanosecond of that moment and understand why He would allow himself to be broken….

for His children.

motherhood · Top 10 Tuesday

My Favorite Posts for Motherhood {top 10}

March 26, 2013September 30, 2015 Lindsey P. BrackettLeave a comment

Right now, in the season of life I’m in, I only want to read about two basic things: other mothers identifying with me in the trenches and glory of motherhood and mindless escapism fiction. I’m not getting a whole lot of the latter lately, at least not a lot of new fiction is making its way to my bedside table, though there’s plenty of Anne and Laura as I read to my 8 year old, which is good because always, always, always those stories have a way of quieting my soul.

But these stories of motherhood….these restore me and refresh me and rejuvenate me long enough to know I can get up again tomorrow, and, once again, say no to candy before 9 a.m. and flip-flops when it’s 35 degrees.

So here’s a simple list of ten posts about motherhood I hope you’ll read if you’re here now or been there before or coming soon to this amazing (and exhausting) season of life. Of course I’ve included some of my own as well as favorites from other bloggers.

1. What No One Told Me About Mothering in which I tell the truth that this is hard. This is my most popular post and the one I received the most feedback about, I guess, because it resonated with so many of us and because God likes to continually remind me that I’m not alone.
2. Beyond My Control in which I write about my struggle with my pregnancy and self-image.
2. When the Words are Perfect in which I find reminders all around that remind me not to stand alone.
3. Because Sometimes You Just Break in which I confess that, sometimes, motherhood breaks me.
4. My Delightful Confession in which I ‘fess up to what I’ve discovered in eight years of motherhood.
5. My Favorite Baby Gear in which I list only ten of my recommended items for mamas and babies.
6. When We Just Want It to Matter in which I remind you (and myself) that what we does matter.
7. Sometimes You Just Want to Quit in which I quit motherhood for five whole minutes and that’s okay.

and to round out the list….
8. Grace for the Working Mother (and her guilt) in which Lisa-Jo Baker paints words into comfort and encouragement for all mothers of all professions. If you don’t read her blog, you should. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll be tossing a post idea around in my head after a day of chaos and suddenly her words are there in my inbox and they’re so perfect, it’s unreal.
9. What If Sometimes You Don’t Like Motherhood? in which Rachel at Finding Joy responds to her responses to this “dear mom” letter. oh and she also just posted this that I love and will probably print for my sister-in-law.
10. 10+ Helps for Really Busy Moms in which Ann Voskamp, whose words are like water for my thirsty heart and whose expressions of gratitude often make me weep, reminds me “motherhood is a hallowed place because children are never commonplace” and “I have all I need for today”. This is framed and hanging in my kitchen so that I can see it and remember.

If you love this, share it, pin it, tweet it, and pass it on! Thank you for reading my stumbling and broken words….