amelia · http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post · madelynne · motherhood

I Forgot

I forgot that when I’m at work all day that only leaves me a precious few hours at home.  Before I knew it today I had run errands, gone to Jazzercise, started dinner and realized the girls would be in bed soon and I had barely seen them. 

This is why I quit cooking as much last fall and we began to enjoy canned soup and grilled cheese on a weekly basis.

Time just gets away so quickly and I don’t want to waste it.  These precious moments are flying by and I feel like I need to grab on and dig in my heels to slow life down.

My six year old has suddenly matured into a post-Christmas kindergartener who’s not so sure Santa is real and thinks she might be too big for baby dolls.  When did that happen?

Annabelle only wants to go to school if Hailey’s there but insists they do “nothing” all day.

Then there’s Millie Moo who can walk on her knees and will sit in the high chair for an hour as long as the food keeps coming.

Where did these babies go?

Madelynne Grace in February 2005

Madelynne and Annabelle Faith in March 2006

Amelia Hope in May 2010
motherhood · resolutions

2010 Whirlwind

I really can’t believe it’s New Year’s already.  I have a ten month old baby, a little girl who just lost her first tooth, and a middle child who’s lately having trouble adjusting.

I wish I could say 2010 was a great year and I’m sorry to see it go. Certainly it was life changing and more than I ever expected, but it was also incredibly difficult at times. 

We are, however, blessed beyond measure and the only New Year’s Resolution I’m making is to remember that. 

When the dishes are overflowing and the laundry is all clean but has no hope of being folded.

When the floor is grimy and the toys are an obstacle course between the den and the bedroom.

When the children are crying and Mommy is exhausted and dinner is still frozen.

When the babies are cuddling and Daddy is home early.

When it’s quiet because the girls are painting their fingernails while sitting on their beds.

When my baby makes a beeline through the crumbs under the kitchen table just so she can get to me faster.

I hope I can pause to breathe and pause to remember our many blessings. 

Happy New Year!

Christmas · motherhood

A Moment of Holiness

Keep in mind that while I am writing this, Madelynne is sitting on the coffee table and alternately bouncing up and down.  Belle is curled up in the armchair with all of her baby dolls and we’re watching Miracle on 34th Street.  They’re not screaming, fighting, or doing exactly what they’ve been asked to do.  But it’s enough that they’re quiet and (hopefully) not waking up Amelia.

I haven’t taken enough moments this Christmas. Enough breaths to be thankful and thoughtful.  But I am reminded every time I have to leave my baking or my dishes or my piles and piles of laundry so that I can rock my baby to sleep just how blessed I am. 

There’s something about having a new baby at Christmas that causes me to ponder even more that miracle God worked in the life of a young girl.  When I’m holding her and marveling at the innocence and perfection she has been given, I wonder what Mary must have thought in those first months of Jesus’ life.  Did she rock him to sleep?  Did she sometimes wish she didn’t have to stop in the middle of a chore that has to be done so she could attend to his cry?  Did she thank God for forcing her to slow down and just hold her baby?

Today I did.  And I pray that in the days to come I will pause more to see the holiness that is all around me.

Merry Christmas….from our chaos to yours.  Peace be with you this Christmas and always.

amelia · motherhood

9/12 or 3/4?

I’m not sure what makes me more sad.  To say my baby is 9 months old and to realize that she’s grown more than twice as big as she grew the first 9 months I knew she was in existence….or to say she’s three-fourths of the way to one.

Let’s not even think about her being one.  That’s when manufacturers switch her from “infant” to “toddler” and I have to baby proof everything in the house that’s within three feet of the ground.

Well, I wish I had that long to wait on the proof that she’s ready to get going and exploring in her little world, but the truth is at nine months, she’s more active than I remember either of her sisters being and she’s into anything she can reach, which means I hope I never have the need to call anyone in the next county who’s last name starts with V-Z since our phone book no longer possesses that page.

At nine months, Amelia can crawl fast enough to make it down the hall before her sisters can shut the door of their room and proclaim they’re “doing big girl stuff” necessitating in a lot of wailing from Amelia, whining from Annabelle, and shrieking from Madelynne–“She’s going to eat the crayons!”

At nine months she can put away two jars of baby food, a Swedish meatball, a half-dozen noodles,  a handful of puffs, and a cup of juice in one dinner and still pull up on my jeans with a beseeching look less than an hour later when I’m doing dishes and she realizes I’m holding a bottle.

At nine months, I have introduced her to the simple pleasures of life like ice cream…and the never ending drudgery of such tasks as dishes.  For now she finds the dishwasher an intriguing contraption with the allure of denial.  As in, she’s not supposed to play in it, so of course that’s the only place she wants to be when it’s open.

At nine months, she coos and squeals and squawks and calls “dadadadada” constantly.  But never, ever will she even attempt to utter an “mmmmm” sound.  She waves “bye-bye” and giggles when tickled.  She’s by far the best behaved when we go shopping, but that might be because she waits until I’m distracted to soothe herself by chewing on the cart.  Despite the seat cover.

Right now she’s chewing on my knee and pulling up in another favorite play place.  Under the kitchen table.  She’s sweet and cuddly and demanding of attention.  She thinks Annabelle shows her too much love and Madelynne is the funniest person she knows.

In just nine months she completed enough growth to ready her for a vibrant life…and in nine months she has completed our family beyond my dreams.

motherhood · school

Should Have Sunday

I spend way too much time thinking about all the things I should have (or should be) doing.

Like this morning.

I should be rushing around to get out the door to church on time, not trying to relieve some of my anxiety by blogging. 

I should have made the girls get a bath last night when we got home at 9 even though I was tired and just wanted to nurse Amelia and get to bed.

And I should not have melted down yesterday about the mess the girls made (and Joshua left me in charge of cleaning up).  Instead I could have modeled calm behavior under pressure.  Even if that pressure was the fact that it was 1:27 and I was supposed to be able to feed all three of them and myself, get dressed for a wedding, clean up the mess in the carport, curl my hair, pack up the girls and get them to Mimi’s, and then show up at the church by 2 for a weddding.

Not happening.

The truth is there’s a lot not happening these days that should happen.  We should be reading more story books.  We should be playing outside in the beautiful autumn splendor.  We should be putting the finishing touches on Halloween costumes and hiding the Kit-Kats from Daddy.

Yeah, I spend way too much time on the shoulds.  No matter that this week alone I had a kid read a book (and like it) for the first time this year.  I had a productive parent meeting and definitely went above the job description I was handed in EDU 101.  I spent about ten hours helping direct a wedding rehearsal and the wedding itself and consoling a harried bride.  I braided Annabelle’s hair like Laura Ingalls and cuddled Amelia until she fell asleep.  I made $80 dollars selling random items on Classifieds at school and have managed to get all those delivered to their buyers.  I took a few minutes this week to catch up with friends and enjoy a glass of wine.  And I think I just put the last load of laundry I’m doing this weekend in the dryer.

Finding the balance between home and work and kids and chores and worship and church is tough.  And focusing on what my should haves is enlightening when it helps me realize what should be getting the best of me.

So this afternoon even though I should fold all the laundry and mop the floor and clean the bathroom, I think I’ll take a nap and put the finishing touches on Halloween costumes and finish the next chapter of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever with Madelynne so she’s ready for her next rehearsal.

And everything else can just wait ’til next time.