Sometimes it’s hard. It’s oh, so very hard to be grateful for every moment, to find the blessing in sleepless nights and pee-soaked carseats and sucker sticks stuck to the carpet.
But embracing this time doesn’t have to mean liking it all the time, or even being grateful for all those nuisances that sometimes threaten to overwhelm my rational thoughts and send me spiraling back into a dark place.
Embracing motherhood is just that–it’s holding in my arms this season of my life and cherishing it for what it is–a season. Because while I will forever be their mother, I will not forever be their world. I will not forever be their first thought, first love, first comfort.
But when I embrace this season, when I hold it in my arms with words and images and memories, I keep it forever.
Gus will turn six months old tomorrow. Amelia sings her ABCs and counts to ten. Annabelle grew an inch in a month. Madelynne is talking about Salena Gomez and Taylor Swift instead of Dora and Pocahontas.
Already I wish for some of their smaller days back, for fleeting moments of innocence and silliness, for them all to be small enough to tuck safely against my chest when we go out into the world. I close my eyes, or scroll back through this blog, or open a journal pressed flat and live those moments again.
I remember what was hard and I give thanks I made it through. I’ve learned that I can’t force every moment into a cherished memory, but I can cherish the moments I want to remember.
I’ve also learned that I should think blogging commitments through before I make them, which is why you won’t find 31 posts here. But you will find many, some I probably wouldn’t have written if I hadn’t linked up 31 days ago and then felt compelled to squeeze out words between naptime and suppertime and bathtime and homework-time. Here are some of my favorites I hope you will take the time to skim if you haven’t already…
Day 2: When It’s Not What You Expected